Happy Habits

I was recently invited to become a pioneer user for a new site called Happify. It's a new site that is "led by a group of proven serial entrepreneurs who have teamed up with the leading scientists and coaches in happiness research and training. Our goal is to provide users with an innovative new online/mobile product that uses interactive activities and games to help users form daily happiness habits and build social connections with like-minded happiness seekers."

I've been using the site for the last week, and the activities are very fun. There are games, polls, quizzes, and activities that help promote happiness. Several of the specific tasks I've worked on were journal entry type activities where I recognize and write down some of the things that are in my life that make me happy. And you know what? It works.

I'm way more aware of little happinesses like sunshine, the cute squeaks of my chinchilla, my baby's big kicks, and the sweet acts of kindness my husband does for me.

I want to invite FIVE of my readers to join Happify and try some of these science-proven techniques for becoming happier!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Gray May

Is it just me, or was April the longest month ever? Probably just me, because the days seem a lot longer when you don't sleep well at night. 

Looks like we're starting May off the way we always do. With cloudy skies and warm temperatures. April was full of sunny, even hot days. May is usually kind of gray, and so is June, but they're warm. Then July comes and we get really sunny again, and it stays that way until well into November. Our seasons are way off, but you won't hear me complaining. 

I had some pretty strange - but not entirely unexpected - things happen this week. I started getting nighttime leg cramps, which I remedied with kiwis and bananas, and they went away. I took the glucose test (an experience which deserves a post all to itself). I jumped on the web design bandwagon. I've already got two sites I'm working on, and though it's kind of slow-going (pregnant brains learn Photoshop and Illustrator much slower and with much greater frustration, apparently), I love it. I'm really excited about developing some skills in this area. The opportunity kind of came out of nowhere through the business my husband owns, and I decided to see what I could learn and who I could help.

I love when stuff like that happens.

Grilled Veggie Greek Quinoa Salad

I've always been the kind of person who is excited to eat food. I plan vacations around restaurants I want to try. If I crave something, you better believe I'm going out to get it, no matter the time of day. I've never been one who had to be told twice that dinner was ready. Unfortunately, this has also meant I've needed to be careful about being healthier, pretty much my whole life. I was thinner in High School, but I had to work hard to stay that way, where other girls didn't.

We went to some friends' house for dinner on Sunday, and my girlfriend had been telling me that she wanted to try some different quinoa recipes because quinoa is a healthy, high-protein grain that is way better for you than pasta, white rice, or bread. I decided it would be perfect to throw together a quinoa salad to share at dinner!

Sadly, I didn't get any pictures of it because it got eaten so fast! It was super easy, and all of the ingredients were things I normally have in my pantry and fridge.

Here's the recipe:

Make the quinoa (1 cup quinoa, 2 cups water, boiled until water is evaporated).

Meanwhile, saute your favorite veggies. I used what I had, which included:
- half a red onion, finely diced
- 2 zucchini, cut into half moons
- red bell pepper, cut into bite size pieces
(you could also use yellow summer squash and other colors of bell pepper)

Cook the veggies in a small amount of olive oil (I used lime flavored) with some garlic salt until they are cooked but al dente (not super soft).

Dump the finished quinoa into a large bowl. Add the cooked veggies. Stir together to marry the flavors, and let sit to cool slightly.

For the vinaigrette, squeeze the juice from one lemon, and add about a half teaspoon each of garlic salt and lemon pepper, and just a shake of cayenne pepper (or more if you like). Whisk in olive oil until you have a 3-1 oil to lemon juice ratio. The mixture should equal about a 1/4 cup, maybe a little more. Pour over the quinoa and veggies, and toss to coat.

Refrigerate until just cooled, and add in feta cheese, chopped cilantro and green onions, and cherry tomatoes (also olives would be good). Add whatever other Mediterranean flavors you think would be good!

Allow to cool completely and let the flavors blend in the fridge for an hour or two. It's good hot, but it's better cold, and it's probably best the next day, but I wouldn't know because we ate it too fast.

Enjoy!

UPDATE *** My friend sent me a picture! So in case you're the type of person who wants a picture as an example, hopefully this will inspire you (even if it is a cellphone pic).***

Have a question you'd like me to answer? A blog post you'd like to see? Leave your questions here!

Twenty Four

I got a killer sunburn this week. I spent a few days in a row in the sun, but I used 30 SPF sunscreen and still lobstered. Looks like I'll be using 50 or higher for the remainder of summer!
The upside is I'll probably get a pretty sexy tan.

The boy has been kicking kicking kicking! He's getting really strong! Conrad and I stayed up late one night this week and sort of watched a movie. Mostly we just felt my belly and giggled and talked when he kicked us, and payed very little attention to the film.

Craving BURGERS and meat! Chicken is still really iffy, but I can handle it without barfing. Mostly I want beef for every meal. I think it's because my prenatal vitamin has no iron (which was part of the reason I was so sick), so I need the extra iron from the meat. Maybe I need the protein, too. And the deliciousness, obviously.

Sleeping is getting harder. Up until a couple weeks ago, I could kind of sleep on my stomach, as long as one of my legs was propped up on a pillow. I'm totally unable to sleep on my stomach now, which means I'm not sleeping in a good position. Side sleeping actually hurts my shoulders, and I'm noticing my back is arching more and more because I can't lie flat to stretch it out or keep it straight. Hello, adult/pregnancy-onset-scoliosis. Also, I had my first experience with leg cramps at night. Boy, those things are uncomfortable.

Occasionally, when sleeping gets really tough, I'll get up and go sleep in the guest bed where I can toss and turn without disturbing Conrad, that awesome guy who goes to work every day while I stay home and make a baby. He hates that I do this. He says that we're married, and sleeping in the same bed is not optional. And he's right, but I get out of bed partly for my own comfort, but partly so HE can sleep! Doesn't he see the sacrifice? Who am I kidding. It's all for me. I'm working on it.

Mommy brain has its ups and downs. Sometimes, I'm so loopy and forgetful that I somehow wind up with a sock in my hand and am screaming about how I can't find the sock I'm looking for (hint: it's the one in my hand). Then other times, I feel like my old self. This week was the latter. I managed to stay on top of chores and meal planning, and even designed a couple websites! I started to watch a tutorial on Photoshop, but it was so boring that I got highway hypnosis sitting on my couch, and suddenly didn't know what was happening. But that was unrelated to mommy brain. That happens because Photoshop sucks to learn. (Any tips, BTW?)

Emotions were more in control this week. No major meltdowns like in weeks past, but I still get teary thinking about tender or sad things happening in the world. Also, I got my car washed, and the next day, some bird was just being fabulous and laid a huge dump right next to my car door handle. I managed to choke back the tears, but there was definitely a lump in my throat. Over bird poop on a clean car.

Even with all the silly and crazy stuff happening to me (sunburns, peeing my pants, contractions), I totally love it. I feel great, and I feel like my body is fulfilling its purpose! I'll probably eat my words in the future, but I'd be willing to do this whole pregnancy thing several more times.

Want to ask me more about pregnancy, marriage, faith, or anything else? Leave 'em here and I'll answer them next week!

PARENTS

Conrad and I had the sweetest conversation the other day. I told him a few things I'd like for my birthday, and he started making a list on his computer. Since my birthday's all the way in August, I jokingly suggested he could give these things to me for Mother's Day, if he wanted.

He smiled big and asked when Mother's Day was.

Next month, I said. May.

His smile faded and he said, "Oh, we can't really celebrate Mother's Day yet."

Being a present lover, I had to argue. Also, because I genuinely believe this:
"We're parents now. Just because we aren't taking care of him on the outside of my body doesn't mean we don't have a child. He's with us. If we all died, there would be three of us in heaven. It would never go back to being just the two of us."

His smile came back and he said, "I guess you're right!"

What started as a silly conversation about presents ended up being a sweet moment where we both accepted that our little boy is already in our family, and he is already our son. We love you and can't wait to meet you!

Although I feel like you are always awake, so let's work on that, OK?

RUDE OR NOT?

I learned the etiquette on this particular issue just after I had graduated high school. One of my friends was several years older than me, so she had had enough experience to determine what she should expect from friends. And we spent most of our time together when we weren't in school. One night, I was at her house, and the guy of the moment kept texting me. Naturally, I would read his texts and respond to him.

She just looked at me and said, "You can leave." 

I was shocked. No one had ever been so blunt with me before. I wasn't sure what she was talking about, so I asked why.

She said, "If the person you're texting is more important than the person you're already spending time with, you don't have to stay. Go be with that person. I'm more offended by you being here texting someone else than I would be if you just left. So you can leave, if you want."

I put my phone away for the night, and realized she was totally right. In-person relationships should be priority. Answering phone calls or texts in other peoples' presence is not only socially rude, it's personally offensive. You're basically saying, "I'd rather talk to this person than you." My friend showed me that having expectations of your friends is not only OK, but good. Explain to them why something is offensive. If the friendship is strong, it won't be shaken by a conversation like this, and you'll likely be teaching them something that will prevent them from offending others in the future.

I have a different friend who answered a skype call from her parents while we and our husbands were hanging out. This was super awkward for me, because she not only was showing my who she'd rather talk to, but she kept trying to show her parents parts of my house, my pregnant belly, and include me in parts (but not all) of their conversation. Neither the mother, the father, nor my friend had any kind of idea that this might not be the most appropriate time to talk, even though they all acknowledged that they were at a friend's house. Nonetheless, I had to sit in silence and wait for them to finish chatting.

To me, this is totally something you should NEVER do in a social situation. If you receive a call that isn't urgent, answer and quickly explain that you can't talk but will call later, or respond with a brief text. If someone is texting you continually and it can wait, just ignore it. That's the glory of texts. Handle it later.

What do you guys think? Is this etiquette out-dated? Are we shaping our teenagers to not know where the priority lies (in-person social settings) because we allow them to be on their phones constantly? Or is this common knowledge and everyone except an unfortunate few already follow these rules?

If you aren't already, follow me on Bloglovin and Networked Blogs! I'm working on providing more ways for you guys to follow to make it easier when Google Reader leaves us in July.

My thoughts on attachment parenting, then and now

I know a lot of you may feel one way or another about certain parenting practices, and I want to specify that I do NOT believe there is a single right way to be a parent (anymore). Other than loving your child, there is no single thing you should or shouldn't do to be a "good parent." 

How I used to think:

Co-sleeping - I always rolled my eyes at the idea of co-sleeping. I felt like there was a lack of boundaries when allowing your child to invade the space that should be between you and your husband. Get your kid into a bed of his own. You have control, not your child.

Baby wearing - I used to cringe at the idea of having a person attached to me all day. I thought it created overly-attached children (and parents) and totally limited the adult's activities because you have a baby stuck to you all day. Most of my misconceptions were about spoiling and coddling.

Pacifiers - I always knew I would use one, but I also thought I could just say "stop, that's enough, we're done with pacifiers now."

Bottles - Same. I always knew I would use them, but when I would see a three-year-old using a bottle, I'd think, "gosh, parents, you should be more in control of that. Stop letting your kid be so dependant on something that's for babies."

Strict scheduling vs. baby's time - I always thought I'd have total control over baby's schedule, and I could just force them to nap/eat/change diaper when I wanted them to.

How I currently think:

Co-sleeping - Now that my own baby is on the way, co-sleeping seems less ridiculous. It's more convenient for nursing because they're already right next to you. You can pull them close when they stir and meet their needs immediately. Some families get way better rest this way. However, I still take issue with the boundaries thing. If I want some personal time with my husband, I shouldn't have to go in the guest room with him, or tiptoe around the child who's already asleep in our bed. Maybe allow co-sleeping only as needed, but not 100% of the time? I don't know.

Baby wearing - I can't wait to have a baby on me all day! I'll be able to easily meet his needs as soon as he fusses, plus I'll get lots of love and bonding. Conrad is also excited for baby wearing - especially skin time for daddy and baby (I mean, seriously! Look at those pictures! He totally loves holding babies). And unlike what I previously thought, I'll actually be freer to do whatever I need to do because wearing him on my chest will free my hands, and I won't have to run to tend to him and drop what I'm doing every time he cries.

Pacifiers - I'm totally going to use them. I think they're great soothers and the kid will show you when he's ready to give it up. However, I will also teach that there are appropriate times for them. If my kid is older and still wants a pacifier, maybe the rule will only be at night. And he'll have to take it out if he wants to speak. No talking through it.

Bottles - As the baby gets older, he will hopefully transition seamlessly into using sippy cups. I would say yes to using them as the kid gets older, but it's pretty bad for their teeth in the long run. But I will absolutely give my baby a bottle when he's tiny (I'm still on the fence about breastfeeding).

Strict scheduling vs. Baby's time - There are pros and cons to both. Strict scheduling is good because your kid has consistency. You know when you can plan certain things and when you need to be home for a nap. However, you don't have a lot of flexibility. If your kid is only able to sleep in his crib, you pretty much have to be home at nap time. With baby's time, you are more at the mercy of your kid. They nap when they want, no matter where you are. You feed them when they need it, no matter where you are. This is good because your kid is more flexible, but you really have to prepare for all scenarios, since your kid's schedule isn't exactly consistent. Not sure which one I'll use, but I'm leaning toward baby's time.

The only aspect I'm still kind of on the fence about is nursing. What other parenting practices are there? What do you guys think about attachment parenting? I'd love to hear your suggestions for any practices I forgot about! 

Don't forget to leave your questions for me here!

Faking it

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As you might have gathered from my last several posts, I've been doing a lot of thinking about the person I am currently, and the person I want to be for this baby (I recently re-set a bunch of my goals from New Year's). I have strong beliefs and values, but haven't always lived a life that really shows them.

I dress modestly and cover my body out of respect for myself and my marriage (after all, it's Conrad's body, too).
I try my best to not use bad language (I'm getting better at this. I used to have almost no control.)
I am kind to people I come in contact with.
I say prayers often.

But what about behind closed doors?

Do I think kind thoughts, even when a person has offended me?
Do I gossip?
Do I judge others?
Do I go out of my way to be a good friend to people, instead of just expect them to be nice to me?

I realized I may not be as Christlike as I had thought. I look at your blogs and your words, and am inspired by so many of you to be better. I admire your kindness and softness, and want to adopt those traits as my own.

A little sidenote, I've been SO touched by how encouraging and kind your comments always are. 

One thing that sparked this change in my heart was knowing that my baby boy would see my behavior more than anyone else. He will see how I react at home when I kick a door jamb. He will hear the words I say when someone driving recklessly cuts me off. He will hear my phone calls as I feed him. Will I say kind words, or will I express anger and intensity?

So I decided to make some conscious changes. Here's the funny thing. It's been about a week since I decided this, and I already can feel myself softening. At first, it didn't feel natural. I had to try really hard to be patient and think kind thoughts, or pretend that I was calm when I felt a flurry of emotions that I wanted to react to. Now, just a week later, I feel like things actually affect me less.

I guess "fake it 'til you make it" is a real thing!

Don't forget to leave questions for me here!

Question Me

Some of my favorite bloggers have done this, so I thought I'd give it a go!

Do you have a question for me?

Something you've been itching to ask about?

Maybe no one does! But I'd love to answer any questions you do have. 

Ask away! I'm ready!

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And one more thing: I'm LOVING how much I feel like I'm connecting with you guys as my readers. I recently joined the Bigs and Littles Blogging Network thinking I'd be a little, and I'd get paired with someone who I considered more experienced, a "big" if you will. 

Instead, I was labeled a "big," and got paired with a "little," which was not only a surprise, but an honor! One of the directors of this blogging network sent out a mass email to all the people participating, apologizing that there simply weren't enough "bigs" and that almost everyone had listed that they wanted a mentor, not to be one. I guess a lot of people were upset that they couldn't be "trained" by a bigger blog. I think a lot of people were expecting this to be a way to gain a lot of followers from a larger blogger instead of a networking opportunity to make a friend and learn something new, or help someone along their way. 

This makes me sad, that people were kind of hoping to mooch and not really have to share any tricks of the trade with anyone else. But when I learned that I was a "big" instead of a "little," I was really excited. I got even more excited when I started working with this girl (who you'll see on my sidebar next month). It gave me an idea to start a series (maybe monthly?) where I offer to help a "littler" blog than mine to figure out the ups and downs of blogging. What do you guys think? Should there be a follower-amount maximum? Should there be a maximum amount of years the blog has been going? Should there be any requirements for "littles" who want to participate?

Let me know in the comments, and don't forget to ask all your questions! If there are any questions you'd rather leave anonymously, feel free to switch over to "Anonymous" mode or send me a private email to tesiahwilk@yahoo.com. 

Can't wait to hear what you all say!

Twenty-three

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+ First off, my tots are huge. (You knew it was coming) I've never had to support so much weight in front of my body before, what with the baby and all his juices, and then my girls, who won't stop growing. I have cleavage up to my neck and it's only going to get worse/better. Sorry for any family members who are reading. It had to be said.

+ I have eaten 3 In-N-Out burgers in the last week (plus a Sonic burger and a gyro). This meat craving is no joke. Boy needs his protein and iron!

+ I tried to catch the baby's kicks on video, but every time I'd turn the camera on, he'd stop moving!

+ He can hear now, and I think he can recognize sounds and voices, which is the coolest thing ever. I was doing dishes the other day, and he was awake and tumbling around, and I just stopped what I was doing and put my hand on my stomach. I just stood there for a couple minutes, feeling him kick and speaking to him. I like to think he knows my voice.

+ Despite my urges to wear nothing but sweat pants and sports bras, I went out and bought some more maternity clothes. I got some leggings (maternity leggings, where have you been all my life?!) and some colored pants, and a couple of shirts because most of my shirts are now struggling to contain all three of the lovely lady lumps I have going on now.

+ The ligaments in my feet are definitely relaxing. My shoes are snug and my arches feel like they're falling. Boo to bigger feet, but yay for new shoes!

+ Everyone asks me how far along I am, and when I reply, "about five months," they respond by telling me all sorts of hardships and horror stories they went through when they were pregnant. They all want to feel sorry for my "condition" when in reality, I'm having a great time. I love the changes, and I love my baby. I haven't been really uncomfortable since the morning sickness ended, and I think I've had a pretty good attitude about the whole experience. So sorry, for all you ladies who just want to complain and try to scare me with your stories. This girl ain't having none of it.

Triple-A Giveaway

Pre-pregnancy selfie on a workout day

Pregnancy selfie on a workout day

I went on a walk yesterday. This is a notable event for multiple reasons. First of all, I hate walking by myself. I talked about that here and here. I was really proud of myself for getting out - ALONE - and walking 2 miles. However, the second reason this was a notable thing was that I was dehydrated. The strain of exercise on my body plus lack of water in my system led to lots of mild contractions (which almost caused a pee-pants situation) and some really swollen hands. The contractions felt like weak-sauce period cramps, so I'm not worried that I'm sending myself right into labor, but I'm savvy enough to recognize when my body is sending me a message. If I don't have enough water, my baby might not be getting enough, either. Then there's the swollen hands thing. Mostly, my fingers just swelled and got really taut (almost itchy), and I think that happens either from a high-sodium diet or from dehydration, so it made sense. My poor sausagey ring finger could hardly stand my wedding ring. I had to run my hands under cold water for a good three minutes in order to squeeze the ring off.

Lesson learned: Drink lots of water!

Anyway, I'm really excited for today's giveaway. Four of my awesome sponsors decided to put together this giveaway for the month of April, and I think you guys will love the prizes!

Ads, Accessories and Art

I mean, who doesn't love all of those things?

Giving away a large ad space

Giving away a flexi-clip

Giving away a signed art print from her shop

Giving away 2 months of medium ad space

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Early babies

This is my brother Lane. He was born three and a half months early.

We were all early. My sister and I were both four weeks early, my brother Ryan was a week early, and then there was Lane, born at 24 weeks gestation. The picture above was taken two months after his birth. That is a two month old baby, and he is smaller than the average newborn.

I'm almost 23 weeks, and while I know everything has been fine with my pregnancy so far, I can't help but be a little worried that I make babies the way my mom did: slightly underdone (or extremely underdone). If I take after my mom as far as early labor, I could give birth next week. NEXT WEEK.

One thing that brings a little comfort is that if I do give birth early, I know my baby could survive. Here is Lane now.

But while part of me almost wishes I could meet my boy now, I don't want to see him for at least another 15 weeks!

Becoming a Millionaire: Budgeting

Part 1: Set your goal

Part 2: Finish what you started

Part 3: What you want now vs. What you want most

Budgeting has been a hard thing to learn for me. When we were first married, we had only about $500, and I spent about $300 on clothes one day. That was our first big fight. It's something that I think a lot of people struggle with, because when you have money in the bank account, you feel like you can afford stuff, but you aren't really considering upcoming purchases like rent, groceries, gas, and tuition.

That was the only time I was really bad with money. I spent almost everything we had without considering Conrad. Since then, I've made some huge strides. We got better with money over time. We started making more, and I got better about considering more mandatory purchases before I spent money on "wants." 

In November 2012, we decided to get on a strict budget (by we I mean "we decided to put me on a strict budget). I wasn't spending more than we had, but we were having a hard time saving anything, and we had goals of getting a larger house and eventually getting new cars. When we started the budget, I wasn't pregnant, but by the end of the first month, I was. This was even more motivation to save. We were going to have a baby, which meant medical bills, more expenses per month, and we would really be wanting a bigger house and car. 

I'm about to discuss personal financial information. Some of you may think these numbers are high, and some of you may think they are low. This was our experience with learning how to budget, and I trust that you'll have respect for it. 

Conrad and I never make any financial decisions without each other, so when I say I "asked him for more money," I'm not saying he's controlling or dominating with our finances. 

In November, we decided that I should have my own separate bank account. Previously we had shared an account, which seemed to work. However, with the larger number in the joint account, I felt like we could afford whatever I wanted to buy because we still had a lot of money left. We sat down one day and decided that we'd save more if I had my own account and was responsible for budgeting certain expenses. 

I still have total access to all accounts, and am able to transfer money if I need it. I do not do this without talking to Conrad, and he does not make any big purchases without talking to me. The money in my "little" account is still our money. I'm responsible for buying food for both of us, and household stuff. Any money that I make is additional to the amount I get monthly. This is so I am able to save if I want. 

Here's what we calculated (per month):

Gas and car maintenance (for my car only): $200

Groceries: $500

Household items: $200

General shopping (including fun stuff): $300

Total: $1200 per month

I opened an account and transferred $1200 over. Within three weeks, I had spent it all, and I honestly couldn't even tell you what I bought. I went to Conrad and told him I needed more money. So he gave me an "advance" and gave me another $1200, and we decided I would have to make it last through December. I insisted this wouldn't be enough because we always spend more at Christmas. I think I made it last about halfway through December, but I needed more money.

I spent the second $1200 by December 6, just over two weeks later. Rather than transferring another $1200, I transferred $500. I was starting to see a pattern: that if I had too much money, I would only spend if faster. Surprisingly, I made the $500 last through December. 

That's when we decided to recalculate. $1200 was too high a number and I felt like I had too much freedom with the money. We knew when we created this new system that it would probably take a couple months of figuring out, which is why the budget started so high. We knew we would lower it as I got better with budgeting. So, we did what felt to me like counter-intuitive, we lowered the budget. Household items would be grouped in with General Shopping, and I would only have $200 for all of it, and the grocery budget would be lowered to $400. Here's the breakdown:

Gas and car: $200

Grocery: $400

All remaining shopping (want or need): $100 or $300, I can't remember what we decided at the time

Total: $700 or $900

When it came time to transfer money on the first of the January, I had forgotten whether the number was $700 or $900. Morning sickness was in full swing, as was mommy brain. So I asked Conrad, and we agreed that I should transfer $700, and if I really, really needed more, I could transfer an additional $200. I felt really proud that I had lowered the budget so much in just a couple months. 

January ended up being a little rocky. I had to make a couple deposits and transfers, and I even overdrafted once. But I never used more than the $900 we had agreed on! February began with a $700 transfer again, only this month I was determined to not need extra money. I wanted to see if I could stick to $700 instead of $900, and I DID! I was so proud of myself. 

Now I'm pretty used to the $700 per month, and we're saving so much more than we used to. We were talking about it recently and Conrad said, "I think there were some months when you spent $5000 and didn't even know it." But I was never spending more than we had, so I felt like I was doing fine! We track our spending on mint.com and calculated that now, with the new budget, we are saving about 30% of what we make and will probably be able to buy again by the end of the year. 

I've figured out a pretty good system for myself as far as making the money last for the whole month. Sometimes it's really hard, and sometimes I get really close to nothing. I decided to figure out a better system for groceries and food, since that was my biggest spending responsibility. More on that next time! 

PS - I'm giving away ad space over here today! Go enter!

All the posts about what happened in Boston

This guy. My brother. He goes to Berklee School of Music in Boston. 

He lives on Boylston Street, where the two bombings happened. 

So with all the people writing posts and status updates and sharing articles about how bad the event was,

I'm here to say

Pray for the people there.

Because I promise, 

You know someone

Who knows someone

Who was there

And who was affected. 

(He's fine, he was not hurt, but the fact that he lives on the same street compelled me to ask for your prayers, especially for the families of those who were hurt or afraid)

10 Things About Conrad

1. Conrad is a picky eater. He prefers "kid food," like pigs in a blanket, hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza, and waffles.

2. He lost his wedding ring recently, and it devastated him. I told him we could get him another one, but he wants the old one.

3. He would keep his clothes for 15 years if I let him. Sometimes his clothes are so stained and old that a homeless man wouldn't even want them.

4. He is very loving. His love language is physical touch, so he's very snuggly. 

5. He's thrilled to be a dad. He will point out little things that he "just can't wait" for, like baby wearing, skin time with baby, feeding baby, watching baby learn to walk, etc.

6. He never wanted to travel before we got married, and now he loves it. He's been the one who's chosen most of our vacations.

7. He loves to work. This guy works his day job (40+ hours/week), but then he comes home and he works on his side projects an additional 20+ hours/week. He works so hard to provide for our little family.

8. He likes video games. He just beat Portal 2, and we practically had a party about it.

9. He dilly-dally's in the shower. Sometimes he'll be in there for 15 minutes, and I'll have to go check on him to make sure he's actually doing something, or just standing there. 

10. He chooses life with me every single day and I couldn't be more grateful. He thinks my growing body is beautiful, and he is the most supportive husband in the world.

PS- Have you entered the $1000 giveaway?
Or the Have it Your Way giveaway? 

Weepy and sleepy

...is how you might describe me lately.

Pregnancy has been pretty by-the-book for me. Everyone said once you hit the second trimester, your morning sickness will start to go away. Practically overnight, I went from hugging the porcelain to bounding around with heaps of energy (I won't mention how I'd need a nap every two hours, because halleluja the nausea was gone!).

Then they said around halfway through your pregnancy, you'll start to get much more emotional, if you haven't already. Like clockwork, man. The very day I hit 20 weeks, I had my first hormone-induced breakdown, and it's been a weep-fest over here ever since. I'll have a couple days in a row without any tears, but like a sprung leak, I'll make up for it over the next few days with over-sensitivity and crying at commercials on the radio.

I found my first couple stretch marks on my growing girls, and it sent me into a vortex of sadness over how difficult it's going to be to get back into shape and feel confident in my skin once this baby's out.

I cry at the drop of a hat any time Conrad is the slightest bit sarcastic to me (which is something I've always been able to just dish right back at him and brush off).

I get lonely much easier, which makes for higher emotions.

I slept in too late, and it left me with an all-day headache that resulted in not one, not two, but three cry-baby sessions.

On the other end of it, I'm more sensitive and touched by sweetness. When I saw the baby's kicks through my stomach the other day, I wept with joy that he's alive and thriving. When I listened to General Conference (a twice-yearly conference where our church leaders address everyone around the world), I wept with the spirit of their words.

Heaven help us when this baby has colic and refuses to sleep, and I'm sleep deprived and engorged.

Twenty-two

I feel like I've kind of plateaued as far as milestones. Baby boy is still moving, my belly is still a growing thing, and I still crave meat. I had another check-up, but it was five minutes long and I didn't get to look at him. Our only real milestone (which was a big one) was that Conrad felt him kick for the first time this week. He was on night work, so when he got home in the morning, he hopped in bed, and I was just getting ready to wake up. I told him to just rest his hand on my belly, because Boybie was having a karate-fest. Two or three big kicks happened, and I didn't say anything. I just waited for Conrad to react (plus, I find that when I speak to say "there was a kick," it distracts him from feeling it). Conrad gasped and said, "Oh my gosh, was that him?!" I was so excited that I started laughing, and I couldn't really stop, which made it hard to feel more kicks. It was a special moment.

I guess there was a sub-milestone on the same note: I was in the bath and the baby was having another karate-fest. I looked down at my belly and saw it move and throb with his kicks. That was pretty fun. It made me feel like we could almost see him. He's so close to us all the time, but we don't really get to snuggle him or play with him. Seeing his little limbs (or head, or whatever it was) jut out like that made me really excited to meet him.

I'm much more obliged to eat healthy foods than I have in the past during pregnancy. Also, my own guilt has gotten the better of me, since I was warned about GD (which scared me so much I almost pooped myself) and I'm noticing a little excess weight gain around my... everything.

We're going to just go ahead and turn this into a post about insecurity, since I don't have much else to say as far as milestones.

I have to remind myself daily - literally daily, not just saying that - that the weight will come off if I work toward it and if I can keep control while I'm pregnant. I found myself justifying a lot of indulgence because "I'm pregnant and I need the extra calories anyway." So I would eat ice cream and cookies and other things that babies don't need. Then I'd be worried that I'd get GD. I don't know how likely it is for a woman to get it, but if it exists, it's too likely.

So I'd feel terrible about it but not make any changes. I would still eat out at places I was craving or justify dessert. I haven't been very good about staying active the last few weeks, either.

In the past, I've been afraid to take myself on a walk. Not because I feel like I'm in danger if I'm by myself, but because I simply don't like doing the activity if I'm doing it alone. So if I didn't have a partner to hold me accountable, I wouldn't go. Which leads to saddlebags and double chins.

So now, out of love for my baby and my own health and future, I've decided to walk by myself. I know most of you won't care, but this is my way of "staying accountable," by telling you. Ask me about it. Remind me if it comes to your mind. I want to be able to keep up with my kid and not be out of breath when we play outside. I want to be confident with how I look. Maybe we should start a virtual fitness group or something!

So there we go. Twenty-two weeks along.

Re-resolute

My sister and I, making a wish at the Trevi Fountain in Italy, one of the world's most famous wishing spots. 

We set goals at the beginning of each new year. We let them fall by the wayside and forget about them. I thought it would be fun to do a little post about re-setting some goals after the hype of new year's has worn off. 

These are the goals I set at the beginning of this year: 

+ save 40% of what we make

+ have a baby

+ enjoy every minute
+ be a better journal keeper

We are pregnant with our first baby, so that one is pretty much out of the way, if Heavenly Father blesses us with a healthy pregnancy and birth. 

I started a journal specifically for letters for Conrad. As often as I can remember, I try to write him a little entry about how good he is to me and why I think he'll make a good dad. I think it will be nice to look back on when we have our kids, and I wrote all these letters to him about why I want his babies. 

We aren't quite saving 40% of what we make. We made some huge budget changes in November, and it gets easier every month (I'll talk about our budget soon). We're saving close to 30%. 

Enjoy every minute. This one's weird. I feel kind of silly for setting such a non-specific goal for myself. Of course there are minutes that have been hard, that I didn't "enjoy." Like, um, morning sickness, for example? But on the other hand, I'm grateful for those hard minutes. I feel like they made me more patient and showed me that certain things are out of my control and I need to be ok with whatever comes. I feel like I've been better about this one than I have in years past.

Some new and modified goals:

+ have a healthy, squirming baby boy

+ be an even better journal keeper

+ perfect the budget system and save as much as possible

+ enjoy every EVERY minute, and be grateful for hard ones

+ have the courage to do things alone, like go for walks and go to the beach. Learn to like me-time.

+ exercise at least 4 days per week (we'll let the month of August slide, for childbirth reasons)

+ be more tender. I tend to be kind of intense and high-energy in real life, which is fine for certain occasions, but not all the time. I want to be more tender, a more loving and sympathetic friend, more sensitive to the Spirit and to other people, and more easy-going. All skills I think I'll need as a mother. 

+ be less judgmental. Realize that other people can do things right even if they aren't doing it my way. Accept people's differences and love them for it instead of separate from them.

+ completely stop gossiping. Girlfriendssss. This one is going to be hard. We all like talking about people. It's fun. And it's not always negative. But it almost always is none of our business. 

+ be a source of light. I want to bring life to things. I want to make people happy.

What are some goals you'd like to re-set? Or some totally new goals? How can you keep your inspiration and drive for these goals? I'd love to hear them!

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This girl is awesome. First of all, she's a talented artist. Second of all, she's from the UK, which automatically makes her cool. She's really just so inspirational. You'll see all kinds of posts on her blog brimming with positivity and hope, two things I'm trying to have more of in my life (and you should too!). Plus, she's got an awesome series for those of us who have Etsy shops: The Secrets of Etsy Success. Check out her freebies page and download some inspiring printables! Seriously, go check out Sarah's blog. You'll be happy you started following her! If you're looking for a little uplift in your day, or maybe for a cool artist to check out, she's your girl. 

Blog // Twitter // Facebook

Sponsor info, and the food I've been eating

Homemade bruschetta, brie bites, and a meatball sub with a Caesar salad. Guess which one I didn't eat. 

I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I decided that I'm going to lower my ad prices. Like, not a sale, but actually lower them. I want the whole networking and sponsoring thing to be easier and more enjoyable for everyone, which means not charging you an arm and a leg (and maybe your firstborn) in exchange for ad space.

Click here for new sponsor information. If any spots are booked, you can reserve them now for May. Ads are approved on the first of the month.

Am I good enough for him?

This question has been heavy on my heart as we get closer and closer to having a newborn in the house. I did some thinking about it this morning while our house was quiet and still kind of dark.

Am I enough? What if I become depressed and shirk all my wifely and motherly duties?
What if I truly hate motherhood? What if my personality clashes with my son's? What if my hormones go wacky and I clash with my beloved husband?

Am I good enough for him, my baby? Am I good enough for him, my husband?

What if I'm unable to care properly for this precious baby? What if I'm unable to make our home a happy place, filled with love?

I desperately want to love motherhood. I want to love the toys everywhere, the smashed crackers in the carpet, the waking up to tenderly care for my baby, my changing body, the new routine...

But I get stressed about messes like toys everywhere and crackers in the carpet. I get really really frustrated when babies won't stop crying. I'm terrified of all the new bodily things I'll have to deal with.

So I prayed. I asked that Heavenly Father bless me with patience and organization and deep love. And the smallest, smallest thought came to me: You are enough.

We're being sent this baby to take care of and love. We are being trusted to raise this little spirit. If I don't quite have what it takes, I'll learn. We'll all learn.

I am enough for Him. He will teach me. He will send me love as I need it.

Two pictures from our day

Woke up to a kicking baby who made me smile.

Picked up a breakfast burrito and a horchata, because, you know, I'm healthy. Or something.

Got a smog check on my car, an errand that I've been meaning to run.

Ate my breakfast while waiting, and read my book.

Visited Conrad at work, gave him the rest of my burrito and horchata.

Kissed him on the mouth.

Had my 21 week appointment.

Got told by the nurse that I have a lot of sugar in my, um, sample, and did I have a lot of sugar this morning?

Felt sufficiently scolded as she warned me about gestational diabetes.

Vowed to never have horchata in the morning again.

Heard his little heart beat wiggle away from the monitor again and again, which frustrated my doctor and delighted me.

Met Conrad at noon after he dropped his truck off for some big fixes we've been putting off.

Drove home happily because we had the whole afternoon together before he had to go to night work.

Conrad jumped in bed for a nap.

I ate two cookies (more sugar, I know) and a mug of milk and joined him for a two-hour snooze fest.

Woke up refreshed.

Leave the house to go grocery shopping together.

Realize that neither of us grabbed the keys.

Try to break into the house, and realize that we are sufficiently guarded for break-ins, and it is nearly impossible.

Wait twenty minutes for a locksmith. 

Conrad lit up the barbeque and started cleaning it while we waited.

Finally get let in to our own house for a grand fee of $55.

Promptly leave again, with the keys, and go to the market. 

Buy healthy food for grilling, because seeing the BBQ all fired up gave me a hankering for grilled food.

Come home and make kabobs together.

Eat the delicious food. 

Clean the kitchen together. 

Snuggle on the couch and watch an episode of Psych. 

And now, my beloved has gone to work the night shift, and I'm here in my coziest of clothes, with a belly full of good food and a sleeping baby. 

And I've been forbidden from watching any episodes while Conrad is out, so I sit here, typing this memoir of our wonderful day.

Twenty-One

I know this picture looks like one from way back around 15 weeks, but this was four days ago. Sometimes, the belly just doesn't pooch out. And then other times...

Baby comes out to play.

- This week was the first time someone (a man in his early 20's who had obviously never known a pregnant woman before) asked me if I was "ready to pop." I slowly smiled and informed him that I have four-and-a-half months left. Then his girlfriend rolled her eyes at him and he apologized a thousand times, and I mostly thought it was just funny. Mostly. 

- I ate a whole jar of dilly-beans by myself. For those of you who don't know what those are, they are spicy pickled green beans, and they are heaven, even if you aren't pregnant. Did I feel a little ashamed and gassy afterword? You bet I did. And did I love every single one? You betcha.

- Baby got hiccups for the first time. It felt just like kicking, but it was in really consistent intervals, and then it suddenly stopped and the belly was still. Poor thing got tuckered out.

- I had my first pee-in-the-pants incident. Baby is almost constantly pushing on my bladder, and after a while it's hard to tell the difference between his pressure and the actual need to pee. So at the grocery store, in the parking lot, I felt the feeling, and dismissed it because I was sure it was just the baby putting pressure on me. And then I peed a little bit.

- My stomach is finally becoming harder. Before, it was my normal abdominal squish, only bigger, but now it's actually pretty hard under there. Especially when I wake up, for some reason. 

Five

one:: we are very excited for the weekend, us three. This will be a weekend of spiritual guidance and family time and good food, and, if we're lucky, good weather and some beach time.

two:: my family is coming to visit (or, three out of five of them, plus maybe the dog, who is the baby). I can't wait to show them a good time in our favorite little place. We've got so many favorite beaches and restaurants and neighborhoods with beautiful homes, I don't know if there will be enough time for all of it!

We REALLY LIKE to walk around pretty neighborhoods. Really. 

three:: Conrad is ever-admiring of my growing belly. I asked him if he just saw a growing body, or if he actually pictured a baby in there. He said it's just a growing body, and I said that's how I feel most of the time. If I think too hard about the baby that's actually in there, my mind is blown and the room starts to spin and I leak from strange places.

four:: I thought Ninners was going to die. He sometimes lays on his side when he sleeps, and it's really adorable because he's so poofy. If you get up and move around the room, or come anywhere near him, he gets startled and alert. But yesterday, in his state of sleep, he started squealing and squeaking a lot, and twitching his legs. I got up to see if he was ok/wake him up, and he stayed down. That's never happened. So I poked my finger through his cage to stroke his little head, which he likes. That had no affect. Also, his eyes were open, so I naturally was thinking the worst (rodents don't tend to die with their eyes closed). I petted and poked him a few times, and he blinked but was mostly unresponsive and kept twitching. Then suddenly, he looked at my finger, and sat up really suddenly. Then he was fine, and he sniffed and was back to his normal self.
I'm chalking it up to a really vivid, open-eyed rodent dream.

Blurry picture is because if I get too close, he wakes up and stops being adorable.

five:: I need some book suggestions. I finished reading several books on my list and would love some more! Tell me what you like to read.

So many books.