Pre-baby Blues

I feel really silly posting this. I know that whatever I'm feeling has already been felt before, probably by every single woman who's ever been pregnant. But I want to voice what's happening in my heart because I've never felt this, and I want to not only seek your advice, but let other women know that they are not alone.

Before I got pregnant, I was a very emotional person. Not it a "chemically imbalanced" way, but in an "easily provoked, heightened emotions, both good and bad" kind of way.

Since I got pregnant, my emotions were actually more regulated. I was calmer and more easy-going, and up until now only cried about three times in 4.5 months.

Today, however, I've got the blues. Everything frustrates me. Which is made even more frustrating from the fact that I haven't had to deal with this kind of mood in almost five months, and am a little out of practice. I've been away from my wonderful husband for a week (except for Thursday, when we spent a couple hours seeing our kiddo). I've been sleeping alone, and while I'm physically more comfortable when I have the bed to myself, I don't feel happy when half my heart is two hours away in San Diego.

I've spent the whole time with my brother, who is 16 and very awkward. While he was at school, I spent a couple days with my Nana, who is the sweetest, most giving, loving person, but who is almost 80 and can sometimes be forgetful or redundant. Adding to my blues is the fact that spending time with these two people, who I love very dearly, is actually really draining for me. My patience wears thin, and I get angry at myself for this.

I'm also almost completely out of money, which is stressful for everyone at the end of the month, not just pregnant girls.

All of these things led to my first real hormone-driven meltdown. I cried to my beloved on the phone, just venting and leaking from my face. He comforted me and felt sad with me, and told me he was so proud of me for how I was handling everything.

Now, while I know that I may get more and more sensitive and emotional as the pregnancy progresses, and I know the provokers that cause me stress, I want to extend the question to you readers:

How do you deal with pregnancy meltdowns? What is the worst pregnancy meltdown you've ever had?

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Twenty - Halfway!

Um, my morning sickness came back temporarily...? On Sunday, baby boy had what appeared to be a growth spurt. For the past few days, I had been feeling a little more nauseous than I had in several weeks, and I felt this weird sensation in my stomach/uterus that I can only describe as a contraction, except it was growing instead of shrinking. Like a cramp from expansion. An ex-cramp-sion. Nope. Not a good joke. A friend from church told me she used to have random spurts of sickness surrounded by what seemed to be "the clear," and that it is because your baby is having a growth spurt. Your body surges in hormone production which makes you sick, and it's over (hopefully) within a few days. I'm chalking it up to that.

We've pretty much decided on a name. We're almost certain that we are going with this name, which I kind of hate because I always loathed the idea of naming a kid before you met him. So I'm saying, "we have a name that we like, but we're not setting anything in stone until we meet him. He may not be that name. I may have a few more kids, meet the last one and say there he is. That's him." Also, I don't want to feel like I'm obligated to use the name just because I've already told everyone, so we're telling only a few people (I'm not the type who's worried about stealers). We reserve the right to use a different name!

And the biggest milestone this week: We saw him again! I now live my life by counting the days until the next time I get to see him on an ultrasound or in person. We went to the ultrasound tech and she kind of shamed me for having emptied my bladder (what's a girl to do?! I honestly, honestly, honestly would have peed my pants. Y'all know what I'm saying). She pushed extra hard on my womb-area so she could get a better view of him since there was no fluid in there helping her out (again, I'm sorry). She measured all his parts.

I'm one of those people who can easily see the baby's general skeletal structure and outline in ultrasounds. Some people just can't see it, no matter how hard they look. For them, it's like looking at those abstract, kaleidoscope "art" pictures that supposedly reveal a larger image if you stare hard enough (remember, they were really popular in the '90's, because tacky stuff was cool?). Not for me. I can pretty much look at a blob of grey and black and say, "there's his head and spine and, oh, look! It's his tooth buds." Don't hate. I have a gift.

But while she was measuring all his parts and organs (and shaming me for peeing), I was totally struggling to see anything but a bunch of grey stuff. She was like, "there are his kidneys, and there's his stomach, etc." The only thing I could definitely see was his heart. She pointed out the four chambers, and it came into focus. It literally looked like a little oval divided into four quadrants, flapping away. I realized I can only see bone and really dense muscle tissue. Alas, I was not meant to be an ultrasound technician. It's probably for the best. I'm not known for my great bedside manner.

I should add here that Boybie, as he is fondly known, promptly fell asleep the second I walked into the doctor's office. He kicked and kicked the whole car ride over, but as soon as we were there, he would have none of it and he peaced out. He rolled over once, to change positions and fall into a deeper sleep, and he made a single hiccup-type movement, but refused to liven up, even with Ultrasound girl pushing firmly into his space. He woke up and started moving again about ten minutes after the appointment was over.

After she measured all his stuff, she just kind of...showed us around. She gave us a little tour of his body and printed pictures of the best parts. We saw his little pee-pee again, and his profile and hands and feet. A few things caught me by surprise. First of all, his belly is significantly bigger, and so is his head. He's putting on the chubs! Second, his little pee-pee was way harder to see because his legs and belly were so much chubbier, and they kind of hid it. Also, his ankles were crossed, and also, he was sound asleep, so he wasn't doing much moving. This was the best part, though.

You guys, this is my son's face. HE HAS A FACE. I had no idea. 

Jokes aside, seeing his little face changed everything. Before, he was a baby. Now he's my baby. Who's nose does he have? Who's chin? Who's eye shape? We can't really see any of that from this picture, but now I know that there was no mix-up. No in-utero switch. This is my kid. I can feel it when I look at this picture. 

On the car ride home, we laughed and laughed about how funny it was that he fell asleep and refused to wake up, especially with how active he had been at the last appointment. Our baby has a face and sleep patterns, just like all the other humans! We can't wait. We've devoted all our outer fridge space to him. 

March Group Giveaway

These two lovely ladies have gotten together to bring you this month's group giveaway! 

Kate from Eloquent Graffiti is giving away $20 shop credit to her awesome blog design shop Scrapcake Designs and a medium ad space on EG. (She's seriously an awesome designer. She's working on something for yours truly, in fact!)

Jenn is giving away a Flexi-clip from Lilla Rose (pictured below). She's a consultant for the company Lilla Rose, and they sell high-end hair jewelry such as the flexi-clip she's giving away today! Go check out their stuff!

And just for fun, I decided to throw in a Medium ad space on TFL. Enter through the rafflecopter form below. Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Giveaway time!

My Three Bittles hit 1,000 followers a bit ago. I want to thank you all so much, SO much! And a special thanks to these lovely ladies for helping me celebrate! $100 Target gift card. $75 Amazon gift card. $50 Forever 21 gift card. $25 Starbucks gift card. $25 Paypal cash. These lovely ladies. Bam! Need I say more?! a Rafflecopter giveaway

Cashew Sour Cream

I knew you could make nut butters out of cashews, but I didn't know that it could be whipped into a super creamy substance that is perfect for dipping apples in.

It's not sweetened at all, which is why it's such a good match with fruit.

I just used Lindsey's recipe over at Cafe Johnsonia. She uses it in places you'd normally find dairy sour cream, such as on Mexican food or on chili, and even tosses a pasta salad in it. Please look at the pictures on her blog. PLEASE. They are so beautiful. And much more appetizing than my blurry phone pictures.

I had an unopened can of Planter's lightly salted cashews, a few lemons on my counter, and water, so I thought I'd test out this recipe out of curiosity.

I swear it's good even though the picture is terrible. 

I blended 1 can of Planter's lightly salted cashews, the juice of 1 small lemon (a scant 1/4 cup), and about 3/4 cups water, added gradually as needed. 

Blend on low, add water as needed, and gradually raise the speed of the blender until it turns a creamy color and has sort of a "dense whipped" consistency.

It's tangy from the lemon juice, just like sour cream or Greek yogurt are tangy. Use less lemon if you want. 

Cashews are naturally kind of sweet, so I liked it to dip apples in it just the way it was. You could sweeten it a little, maybe with honey or raw sugar, and spread on graham crackers as a snack. I'd like to try it on a savory dish, like with meat or pasta, like Lindsey suggests. 

When I make Pad Thai, I have to use cashews in place of peanuts because I'm allergic, and cashews are the closest in texture to peanuts. You could definitely make a sauce out of the cashew sour cream for your Thai dishes, too!

Nineteen

And here's this gem, for those of you who like really uncomfortable photos.

- Baby is moving way LESS than before. I hardly felt him at all. And, as is normal for a pregnant woman, I worried and fretted for every second of it.

- I used to have such a sweet tooth, but am almost never in the mood for sugar now. If, on the rare occasion I do want sugar, I eat about a quarter of what I used to. This kid wants MEAT!

- I read a book on gentle birthing options, and unlike many of you more sensible people, the whole thing just made me mad. Yes, I'm still choosing a hospital birth. Yes, I'm still getting an epidural. Yes, I'm still going to have our son circumcised. No, I probably won't labor in water. And at some point, I'll probably call a nurse a bad word for denying me food for twelve hours, and then I'll apologize later as I cry and ask her to help my baby latch. And none of that means that I respect my body or baby any less than people who go with more "natural" options.

- I ate the richest food of my life this week. White pizza with black truffle cheese, cheeseburgers, pizza two more times, spaghetti with meat sauce, ice cream, and boba two times, among other things that I can't remember. And it was glorious. I spent about five minutes thinking "I've eaten too much rich food. I just want a salad or something." And then I ate a salad (with absurd amounts of homemade ranch dressing) and proceeded to eat my third pizza of the week.

- My brain's lack of function is totally out of control. We were driving to meet my family for dinner one night, and I legitimately thought we were driving my parent's car (we weren't; we were in our own car). Conrad pointed to a car on the road that was the same make, model, and color as our car, and I said, totally seriously, "That's not our car. Ours has the zoo sticker on the back." Conrad burst into laughter, and it took me a good ten seconds to realize that, of course that isn't our car, because we are driving our car. 

- Several other brain-fails happened, but I can't remember them at the moment. See what I mean?

- Because of all the rich food (and the progressing pregnancy, I think), I gained somewhere around 3 pounds in a week. That's fine, considering my weight gain was on the low side before, but I probably shouldn't keep gaining that much every week. Time for salads, fruit, and yogurt. 

- My diaper bag came in the mail! I didn't really even mean to get it. I posted it on Facebook saying I liked it but it was too expensive, and a whole thread unraveled and a friend of a friend saw the post, said he had one that he'd never use, and offered it to me for a third of the retail price. Sometimes, Facebook is great.

Marital advice from an old pro

Yesterday was our fourth wedding anniversary, and I can solidly, confidently say that never have I made a better choice, nor will I ever make a better choice than marrying this man. 

While he works all day for our little family, I'm busy making a baby boy JUST for him. I'm so glad that I get the honor of mothering his babies. 

He took me to dinner and then we drove to our favorite spot overlooking a flower field and the ocean, and we came home and snuggled and watched a movie. In honor of our anniversary, I thought I'd share a couple of the things that have helped us keep a strong, happy marriage.

Express love constantly. Whether it's a quick text during the day, an act of service, physical affection, or vocal expression, you each want to hear and feel the love that the other person has for you.

Never make a decision without considering your spouse. Some couples do everything separately, and while that works for them, that would not work for us. For us to have a strong marriage, we make decisions, big and small, together. We bought a house together. We share accounts. Large purchases are never made without consulting each other. Even small things, like choosing dinner or what movie to watch, are decided on as a partnership (this isn't to say that we don't take turns or occasionally do our own thing). If I'm alone and making a decision, such as choosing a wall color or a new piece of furniture, I still think "how would Conrad like this?"

Always look for a way to serve the other person. Maybe it's doing a chore you know he hates, or making his favorite food, or packing his lunch while he's in the shower. Maybe it's sending them a loving text, or surprising them at work, or complimenting him on something he's insecure about. 

Build each other up. Never make your loved one feel bad about himself. Never use past arguments or shortcomings against each other. Be the kind of person that makes other people want to become their best selves. We challenge each other to be better, and we encourage, praise, and lift up. I've heard stories of spouses who belittle or embarrass their loved ones, and it only makes for a weaker foundation in the home.

Be silly together. If you're always serious and concerned with heavy, dire things, you'll quickly lose the magic. You have to be able to make up songs together while you put the dishes away, or speak in silly voices (we baby talk a shameful, shameful amount), or chase and tickle and play like the best friends you are. Also, be each other's best friend. You should be the first person they turn to with good news, a bad day, or just to talk (and vice versa). 

I also asked some of you to share what makes your marriage strong. Here's what you said:

"Faith. When one of us starts to lose it, our marriage feels empty and strained, but the second we invite God back into our lives the marriage blooms. The arguments fade away and we suddenly see each other in a new, more forgiving and loving light. We pray together and give one another time to pray alone and it all falls into place. "
---Mallory @ Daffodils and Lace

"Have realistic expectations. Movies and books are notorious for setting unrealistic expectations about marriage. Some days will be hard. Issues will come up with finances, budgeting, intimacy, work, and even little things like cleaning. Be open and honest with your partner about what your expectations are and don't forget to be flexible! Never be too prideful. Pride can get in the way of so many things. So many arguments can be strung out because one person or another is too prideful to apologize. Too many marriages end up rocky because of pride. Even if you have to just agree to disagree, just be the bigger person and apologize. I have never once regretted stepping up and apologizing. It is always worth it!"

---Kelsey @ Stories of Kel

"Teamwork and taking time to be ourselves. Marriage is a team effort. If we don’t function as part of a well-defined team, we are missing out on critical aspect of our marriage. Being a team doesn't mean you have to do everything together; it means you have to work together and recognize when you should spend time apart. While we are a team, we are also individuals. We might take weekends away without the other spouse. It gives us time to be ourselves without being defined as a part of a pair and gives us a deeper appreciation of the other partner when we are reunited. We have some shared interests, but we have plenty of interests with no overlap, as well. Neither one of us would benefit from forcing ourselves to enjoy the other’s activity, but we both benefit from letting the other go off and enjoy time alone--and our marriage benefits, as well."

---Jana @ Merlot Mommy

"Communication! It sounds simple but it's surprising how many couples either don't communicate, or don't do it well. We really listen to one another when are sharing our highs and lows, what happened in our day, how we feel about a situation, etc. We talk a LOT. We make a point of having time every day to just hang out and talk about whatever we want/need to. Being able to communicate our feelings, dreams, insecurities, etc. has created a stronger intimacy in our marriage that translates into all other aspects of our relationship."

---Torrie @ Fox and Hazel

I'm looking a little beat in this picture, but we're just as happy - happier even - than the day we got married. 

5 moves

4 years

3 people (soon)

2 degrees

1 house purchased

What's one thing you've done in your marriage that helps keep you strong and close as a couple?

Eighteen

My little tyke is eighteen weeks in-utero! *tear* They grow up so fast.

But seriously, I'm almost halfway through pregnancy (over the hump, if you will), and I can hardly believe how fast it's going. It seems like yesterday I was complaining of constant nausea. (For all you know, it was yesterday)

We were visiting my parents this weekend, and I didn't take a belly pic on the eighteen-week day, but here are some pictures of our fun time. In some of them I don't even look pregnant!

(this is the one where I think my belly is pretty concealed)

New maternity clothes (thanks, Mom!) from H&M. 

Some of the beauty that can be found at my parents' house.

This week:

- I weighed myself, despite my promise to myself that I wouldn't and that it doesn't really matter unless my doctor tells me I'm unhealthy, and I weighed in at a hearty 154 plus change. The next morning, after sleeping off some food (and a bathroom trip or two) I tried again and weighed 152. I'm counting that as my more official weight, since I had eaten an absurd amount of food before the first weigh-in. 

- I'm astonished at my homesickness. Since I got pregnant, I long to be with my family almost daily. I call my mom constantly (which I'm sure she's tiring of), and I ask Conrad almost every single weekend if we can go visit them. I'm also extending our "weekend stay" with them for another several days, and we're probably coming home on Wednesday. That's a solid five days, friends.

- Still craving meat, lots of cheese, and other rich, savory foods like things with truffles in them (the fungus, not the candy), cream sauces, butter, and plenty of carbs. My double chin is having the time of it's life, and is considering renting space to a third tenant.

- Walking around the mall in search of maternity clothes had me feeling a little self-conscious. I knew I needed a few pairs of pants and at least one shirt, and I kept seeing stores I might normally go it. "Oh, let's check Nordstrom!" One hour in the dressing room later, my smile was a little smaller. I know I'm pregnant, and I know I'm bigger because I'm making a healthy baby, but it's hard to not feel bad when you think "I'm too big to wear those cute clothes..." Praise the spirits of H&M for having a maternity section that was very reasonably priced. Also, my mom paid. Grandmas! Am I right?

- We have our 20 week appointment coming up, and I'm giddy to see our boys little face profile and fingers and belly and everything again. I wouldn't have made it this far if I hadn't gotten to see him about 3 weeks ago, so I'm really grateful for ultrasound centers! I'm also going to make my doctor re-confirm that he's still a boy. I'd hate to get too excited only to deal with a HUGE change of plans!

- Conrad is very excited that he's having a boy, but he's already wishing for a girl next! I'm busy morphing into a boy's mom (which I think I always was), and I'm not too concerned with the next baby yet. 

Bloglovin' Hop Link Up!

As promised, here it is! The Bloglovin Hop that will help you get a head-start on converting some of your followers from GFC! Luckily, we have a couple months before they take Google Reader and GFC away from us, and we'll be able to rebuild our following and get used to new following methods.

To participate in the hop, please follow me (The Framed Lady) and Kate (Life as I Know It) via Bloglovin (the links go to our bloglovin pages), and just link up your own Bloglovin page!

Be sure to follow other people so we can all get some good karma (and new followers)! We're not sure if this is a one-time hop or if we'll do a recurring one, so if you have a preference either way, let us know in the comments.

Have fun meeting new bloggers!

Spread the word: Bloglovin Hop coming soon

Hey readers! As you may have heard (if you haven't heard yet, you might be living under a rock), Google is getting rid of Google Reader and GFC in July, which means we'll all need to switch the way we follow blogs! I know there are so many different ways to follow blogs (facebook, twitter, feedly, and others), and we should all provide as many of those options as possible to our readers so they can follow however they prefer.

Kate from Life as I Know It and I are teaming up to host a bloglovin' hop so we can all get a jump start on building our followings in a way other than GFC. Luckily, we have several months to get going on the switch!

Spread the word about this blog hop! Pin the button, share it on FB, twitter, and your blog, and hopefully we'll all grow!

Why Facebook Pages Suck

Sometimes, Facebook is the best. Like if you are eating cereal, and you suddenly wonder how that one girl from high school is doing, you can easily go look at her pictures and see what she's been up to. The best.

And then other times, it's the worst. Like when you have a business or blog page, and you want to post things so that all of your followers see it, but they limit the amount of viewers because they want you to pay for higher viewership.

The worst.

So I did some investigating (about stuff that every single one of you probably already knew), and learned a little about how Facebook pages work, and how to get more readership out of it without paying.

Click the image to enlarge.

The reason I'm typing this is because I want you guys to know how to use Facebook and get higher numbers, in case you didn't already know how. I've never seen a post about this before, so once I figured it out, I wanted to share the knowledge. 

If you look at the image, you can see that links get way less views than statuses (green box with quotations). And even the statuses are only seen by about 10% of people who liked my page. This is why people have started posting things like pictures, and including the link in the description, or writing a status and saying "link in comments." It is because more people will see the post if you don't put it on Facebook as a link. 

You're probably all saying, "Duh, Tess. We've known this for months." Well, even if there's only one of you who didn't know, I hope this helps. 

Post an image to your page's wall, and include the link that way. It's nice because the picture preview size for the link is tiny anyway, and if you post a photo, you'll have a nice large picture to attract your viewers. Write a grabbing status, and say "link in comments". This one is great because posts with comments or likes reach even further! You can also write a post and leave an incomplete link (theframedlady.com) as opposed to a complete link (http://www.theframedlady.com) which will actually turn the post into a link. 

On that note, I'd like to talk about our network and how we help each other. If you have a couple blogging friends who are also trying to "get your name out there," collaborate with them! Tell them, "if you like my blog posts on Facebook, I'll like yours." This will help even more people see the awesome stuff that both of you write. Plus, people are more likely to like or comment on something if there is already some existing likes or comments. 

And who doesn't like a deal where both parties equally benefit? I wouldn't recommend having more than two or three buddies for this, since keeping track of so many posts that you have to like could get really time consuming for you, and at a certain point, it's not worth your time to spend that much time on Facebook.  

Hope this helped! Let me know if there's something you do on Facebook to help you get more viewers!

*****UPDATE*****

I asked a friend to be my Facebook buddy, and I immediately noticed that the amount of people seeing my posts went up and the amount of likes and comments went up. Just one person liking your stuff for you really does make a difference!

The Hammerhead Baby

1994, less than 1 year old

first grade/senior

Me and him doing a little street show in Italy.

He played with me when I sang to Conrad at our wedding.

Happy birthday, Ryan! I called Mom last night and had her tell me your birth story. Love you!

Mom never officially went into labor with you. She had never been that pregnant before, and she was super over it, so she went to the hospital in the evening on March 11th to be induced. It was about 5-6 days before your due date. She dropped me and Kathryn off somewhere for the night.

She told them to break her water. "My baby's gonna be born today!" Sounds just like her.

When they broke her water it was around 9, and labor progressed pretty quickly. They stayed in the same room the whole labor and delivery. 20 minutes later, she was in hard labor and decided that she had changed her mind, and didn't want to have a baby that day. Because of the pain, she asked for an epidural.

Nana was invited, because they thought you might be their last baby, and she had never been present for one of her grandchildren's births before.

While Mom was laying in bed, Dad and Nana were sitting over by a little table talking about possible names, and mom felt left out, as if what she was going through wasn't momentous. Mom told dad if he wanted a "James Jr." it was up to him. He said that he didn't feel like he needed a junior. Dad liked the name Phillip but mom though it was too many soft i's (Phillip Wilkinson?). 

"Well what about Ryan?" 

They really liked it, and decided on James as a middle name. Your name was decided only hours before you were born.

Mom started transitioning, which means getting ready to push. You were a VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean), which means poor Mom had never done this before, even though you were her third baby. Mom had an epidural so she couldn't feel anything, so Nana and Dad each held a leg and got to watch as you came out. 

You started crowning, so the nurse looked down to check on you, and she saw your head and yelled, "Oh my gosh, it's a bald baby!" She was surprised because at that hospital, mostly Asian and Hispanic babies were born, and they almost always have full heads of black hair. 

Mom said, "It better be bald or it's not mine!" 

You came out around 1 am on March 12. 

They took you and cleaned you and wrapped you, and then gave you to mom. Dad unwrapped you so he could see all your fingers and toes and healthy boy body parts. He was so excited to examine his first boy! They had never seen a vaginally birthed baby before. You were so black and blue and red and swollen in the face, and cone-headed, so they forever called you the Hammerhead baby. Your first night in the world, you were with mom and dad alone in the hospital room, and you met your sisters the next day. 

He didn't expect to feel differently about his son than he did with his daughters, but he did. He stayed with you the whole time, even when you were off getting procedures, and he got stressed and wanted to be near you when he heard your cries. 

The next day, everyone came to visit you. Oma and Opa came, and Tiffany, and me and Kathryn. 

Mom introduced you as our new baby, but we were distracted by all the beds there were to jump on and by our new dollies from Nana. 

We're so happy to have you, our baby brother! It's hard to believe you're already 19, and you'll be leaving for a mission soon! Love you!

Read my birth story here.
Read our sister Kathryn's birth story here.

Becoming a Millionaire: Finish what you started

A major struggle for me is that I become obsessed with new hobbies or plans, take it as far as it is easy, and drop it once it becomes to difficult, or when I get tired of it.

A while ago, I set a goal to become a millionaire by the time I'm thirty. Technically, this is not a personal value I'm giving to myself. The goal is really more that Conrad and I both become millionaires, as a family, by the time we're thirty (but since his 30 is in 3 years, and mine is in 6, we're going with mine, so we have some extra time). I got really excited with the goal, got motivated enough to become an eyelash extension technician, then, as is true to myself, kind of... dropped it.

It got hard. It was really difficult to build a client base. I had to spend a lot more of our money than I had anticipated (certification costs, supplies, marketing, etc.), and that was discouraging. So I quit for a while.

And then I realized that successful people don't quit when it gets difficult. In fact, they often choose a difficult path on purpose because they tend to have higher rewards once accomplished. In my head, I think I'm one of those successful people, but when I stopped and looked at my actions, I realized I wasn't. That grossed me out, so I decided to knock it right off.

We set up a monthly budget plan that is really helping us save money. My funds are way more limited than they've ever been, and I'm responsible for budgeting for gas, groceries, and other needs and wants from my own account. This means that any marketing costs I want to splurge on need to be planned, otherwise we'll be eating canned beans for the last ten days of the month because I can't afford groceries. So I'm saving my money each month to get some flyers and business cards made. I made my own website, which you can do on blogger, tumblr, weebly, wordpress, etc. It's pretty easy, and it will always save you money to do it yourself. Plus, you'll have learned how to create a simple website, which I think is a skill everyone should have.

So now, after a brief hiatus due to laziness and lack of motivation, I'm back on board with my goal. This brings me to the thesis of this post:

Finish what you started. If you set a goal, follow through. 

I'll be working on this step for a while, since I so often drop a project as soon as I get too far outside my comfort zone of easiness.

I thought I'd describe exactly what "becoming a millionaire" means to me, and break down some of the specific ways we plan to make money and increase our net worth over the next 6 years.

Click here to read why I chose this goal.

For us, becoming millionaires doesn't mean we have a million dollars sitting in the bank. I don't have time to raise that kind of money, nor do I think it's wise to have that much cash sitting in one place. Being a millionaire means that when you count the value of all of your assets, your total worth is greater than $999,999.99.

• Buy multiple houses, condos, apartment complexes, etc., and rent them out. Rent is generally higher than a monthly mortgage, which means you can buy a house, rent it out, and basically have someone else pay your mortgage for you and give you some extra cash each month. This is how we hope to be making most of our money by the end of the six years.

• Make money in my spare time out of the house doing eyelashes out of the home. This is something I can build on over time and do even when I have kids. 

• Conrad's day job. He's a civil engineer and he'll be certified and finished with all his testing in July 2013, which means he'll be free to start his own firm if he wants. This is currently our main income, and it is how we have been saving for future home purchases.

• Conrad's "side projects" (apps, his own websites and businesses, web development for others). We call them side projects, but only because he already has a day job; he could easily turn this into a full-time thing. In the last year, he's discovered a real talent and joy in web development, and has had at least ten long-term projects/clients that have been pretty fruitful. He may choose to go solely into this field in the future. 

• Various other smaller projects. 

I want to talk mainly about my own personal goals though, since Conrad's kind of already got it all figured out (remember, he's a little older, so he's had more time to get his stuff together).

Doing eyelashes
Write a biography about someone (in progress)
Write an ebook
Write a novel
Help Conrad with his projects

Here's some advice pertaining to today's post:

Don't do things you hate. If a certain job or task makes you want to become a serial killer, don't do it. I hate babysitting. Other people's kids are kind of the worst. If you hate writing, maybe you should set aside that goal you have to write a successful series. If you hate cooking, maybe being a line cook isn't something you should be doing.

Over the course of this blog series, I'd like to talk more about setting and accomplishing goals, and share advice I've found helpful. I'd also LOVE if you shared advice you have when it comes to running a business, accomplishing difficult goals, and staying motivated! Tell me in the comments, and leave a link if you've written a post about this!

Seventeen

-This week, I sat and watched episodes of Lost while I held a fresh lemon under my nose. It was the most satisfying thing I could have possible done in that moment. I scratched the peel with a fork to release some of the aromas, and just... sat there. Isn't it funny how food cravings aren't the only cravings you get when you're pregnant? I've gotten aroma cravings for lemon, laundry sheets, and Conrad's deodorant (so manly), and once I even craved the feeling of being on a roller coaster.

-I'm noticing that my growing baby belly is making certain things harder. Anything involving a deep squat is really difficult because my knees push into my tummy, making the baby push into other things, like my lungs. So naturally, putting away laundry are dishes are out. Like they were ever in. 

-I started working out! I'm walking almost 3 miles a day plus stretches, at least 4 days a week, and some days I even do squats (not super deep ones, obviously), lunges, toe lifts, and push ups! To say I'm impressed with myself is an understatement. I was really worried that I'd be too sick to stay active, but now that I'm feeling almost completely better, I'm really motivated to keep my butt and love handles from getting too out of control. Also my upper arms, inner thighs, general facial area, and pretty much everywhere else.

-Baby kicks more on days I work out. 

-The two most common questions people ask me are "How are you feeling?" and "Do you have a name picked out yet?" They seem like pretty normal questions when you're the one asking them, but when you're on the receiving end and you get each question at least once a day, they seem funny. Like, why does everyone want to know the name? I only found out he's a boy last week! How could I solidly say I know what I want to name him when I still have 25 weeks to go? And why does everyone want to hear about my morning sickness? Weirdos.

-And yes, we do have one name we are considering, but I don't want to tell a lot of people (not because of stealers) because I want to be able to change my mind and not have to answer a ton of questions. 

-Costco sells this vegetarian chili made with lentils, and I like to eat it on my nachos or with rice or potatoes. I never noticed a major physical reaction to it before I was pregnant, but the amount of beans in it DO NOT agree with me. Maybe it's too much iron? Or maybe beans just make you toot.

-My hair has grown more than 4 inches in less than 4 months. I always heard that prenatal vitamins would do that to you, but I've been very relaxed about my prenatal vitamin intake. I think pregnancy just turns me into a chia pet. 

-The girls are getting huge. I've actually had a few friends and my sister comment on their growth. It's all fine, except for the amount of heat they produce. I have a heat rash underneath them that is maddeningly itchy, and I'm also noticing some stretch marks on their way. Yay!

Blog-turned-business

source

I started this blog over four years ago just to document things that were important to me. It slowly evolved as I decided I wanted to use the blog as a money-making tool and for networking. I put together a list of online tools and methods that you can use to make money from your blog.

Passive income has always been something that interests me. Conrad and I have several websites and passive income tools that we use that provide us with a pretty steady amount of money. I won't get really deep into the numbers, but here's a general overview of the tools we use and how they help us.

Google AdSense 
The Framed Lady has made $222.60 from AdSense
This is an ad program that helps cater to your audience based on their personal search history. You get paid based on the amount of clicks you get. They will send your payment once your balance reaches $100. If you have a blogger blog, you can just add the Google AdSense widget to your site!

Amazon Associates
The Framed Lady combined with some of our other websites has made $71.47 from Amazon Associates
This is an affiliate program. You sign up with Amazon, and they give you 4% of all sales that you referred. You can post products and links on your website or blog, and if people click on it and buy that item, or any other item, you receive 4% of the sale. This means that we've referred $1530.71 of sales! That's a lot of money made for Amazon!

Shopsense
The Framed Lady has made $.05 from Shopsense (I signed up two days ago)
This is another affiliate program. It's great for creating collages of products you love. You post the collage on your site and your readers can click the links. You get paid for referral clicks and any resulting sales. Pay rates vary per online store and sales results.

Passionfruit Ads
The Framed Lady has sold over 50 ads through Passionfruit
Personal ads are a great way to make money in the blogging community, and to network with your fellow bloggers. Many bloggers use this tool, which makes it very easy to buy, sell, and trade ad spots. I've found that the months that I sell more ads are the months when I provide more opportunities for growth for my sponsors, such as giveaways, feature posts, and product posts from their shops. Bloggers will see that you are able to provide them with new readership, which in turn makes more people want to advertise with you.

Social Spark
Just signed up!
This is an affiliate program where you can write sponsored posts for advertisers who will pay anywhere between $5 and $200 or more per post! You can choose the companies and products you endorse, which means you never have to lie about being happy with a product or service! Some companies will even give you free stuff to try!

Tools that help drive traffic and bring money in other ways
These tools may not make money directly, but they are great tools to direct readers to your site, and they can result in money in other ways.

Newsletters
There are various newsletter-sending sites that allow you to notify your readers of posts, sales, freebies, and other awesome info by email. I use MailChimp, and it's super easy and free. You just type up your template, send to your list of people, and watch as the clicks roll in! Through newsletters, I've been able to sell ads, promote my sponsors, and promote my posts.

HelloBar
This is a tool to get attention to one post or site. The bar pops up at the top of the page, and readers can click over to your post. You can drive up your pageviews and increase contest entries this way, which means you and your sponsors will get more followers!

Facebook page
Use social media to your advantage! Have a Facebook page for your blog or business allows you to reach unique readers and send special deals to your fans. You want to be present on as many online platforms as you can, since there are some people who you might only reach by Facebook or Twitter, etc.

Twitter Account
Same as above! Facebook and Twitter allow you to have conversations and interact with your readers in a way that no other platform allows. Create a relationship with your audience, and your opinion and referrals will matter more to them.

Long-term projects that can help you make money
These projects take more time, but the money that can result can be awesome! If you're feeling particularly ambitious, give these a try.

Write an e-book
Develop an app

Check out Smart Passive Income for more awesome information on making money online! The blogger makes TONS of money online because he's mastered so many tools!

Do you use any tools I didn't talk about? Tell me about it in the comments!

Free blogger event!

Jenn's Blah Blah Blog and Pink Ninja Media would love for you to join them in a FREE Blogger Opportunity!

Sign up now for the $500 Bloggy Have It Your Way Giveaway! Grow you're readership, don't miss out on this awesome giveaway.

Details:

• Blogger will get a FREE Twitter or Pinterest link with Announcement Post or $5 .
• Additional links available
• Giveaway will start on 3/29
• Want more information, swing by and sign up for Jenn's Blah Blah Blog $500 Giveaway

Looking forward to seeing you there!

Sign up and please tell them that The Framed Lady referred you!

If you're interested in another free blogger event, click here. 

10 clothing items every pregnant woman should have (if she's pregnant in the spring)

1//2 (similar)//3//4//5//6 (similar)//7//8 (similar)//9//10

There's nothing quite as comfortable to a pregnant woman as being submerged in warm water, being naked, or, if clothes must be worn, clothes made out of very flowy or very stretchy fabrics. I was daydreaming about some clothes I might like to get (you know, if I was a millionaire), and I put together this wishlist of some staple items every pregnant woman should own. Flowy dresses, stretchy pants and shorts with belly bands, and flattering, flowy shirts. 

Do you have any maternity favorites? What items would you recommend?

Free blogger event!

It's Raining Money Event

Hosted by: Mom Powered Media

Prize: $1,000 Cash {paypal or visa}

Event dates: 4/1 - 5/1

Free Blogger Event: Sign Up HERE

Have you guys ever done these blogger events? They're a great way to get your name out there and gain new followers quickly! I got over 300 new Facebook followers from one event! 

Sign up, and please tell them that The Framed Lady referred you!

DIY Apothecary Jars

I don't like to throw stuff away, especially if I think I can do something with the item. In this case, it was six candles that had burned all the way down. I HATE throwing away candles if the wax isn't completely used because I feel like I could get a lot more scent out of them. So I decided to finally do something about all those "useless" candles that were taking up space in my hutch.

I've seen tutorials on cleaning out candle jars, and they just scrape out all the wax and throw it away. Here's a tutorial that will upcycle your wax and repurpose the jars!

This is really a two-in-one project, because you're getting a new candle out of it, and you're getting some new apothecary jars!

Here's what you need for the candle:

All of your old candles (mine were all Christmas scents, so they go well together. You want to choose scents that won't smell bad together)

A pot with about 1 inch of water heating on medium-low

A new jar (I used a mason jar)

A wick from the craft store (you want one that has a base so you can secure it to the bottom of the jar)

2 pencils or pens and a rubber band

Potholders or oven mitts

Here's what you need to clean the jars:

Lots of paper towels 

A butter knife

Pledge, Goo Gone, or baby oil (I used Pledge)

Prepare your materials. 

Place a candle in the pot of water and heat. Do not let the water on the stove boil, or you can crack your glass. 

Take the two pens or pencils and secure them together with a rubber band on one end. Think of it as training chopsticks. This will help hold the wick in place so it stays centered in your candle. 

To Begin:

Once the wax is melted, use the oven mitts to remove the jar from the water (glass and wax can be very hot) and pour into the new jar. Place your wick into the jar, and use the pens to hold it centered. I stuck my jar in the fridge so the wax would harden faster. 

Place your next candle in the water to melt the wax. While it's melting, you can clean out the jar you just emptied. Again, be careful! The glass may be hot! If it's too hot to handle with your bare hands, wait a few minutes. 

I found it easiest to clean the jars out before they cooled all the way, just because the remaining wax residue was still soft and easily wiped out. Use the butter knife to scrape out any large chunks of wax and the little wick butts at the bottom. Use the paper towels to wipe all the wax out. You'll go through a lot of paper towels. Once you have most or all of the wax out, spritz some Pledge, Goo Gone, or baby oil into the jar. Because oil is nonpolar, it really helps lift out a non-oil substance like wax. They repel each other, and the oil will get under the wax making it easier to get out. The pledge also helps buff and shine the glass. 

Rinse the jars with soap and water, and towel dry. You may want to give the lids a little shine up with the oil, too. 

By now, your next candle should be melted, and you can repeat the process! Pour the melted wax into the new candle, and repeat until you have a new, layered candle. You may need to re-center the wick each time, because the hot wax will cause it to move. Just use those pencil chopsticks!

Do not pour hot wax into the new candle until the layer before it has totally hardened, otherwise your scents will mix (unless you want that). 

All six of my candles' remaining wax filled a mason jar almost halfway. You could just trim the wick and be done, but I'd like to add more wax to it later and make a bigger candle. 

And there you go! You just knocked out two projects in one! A new candle and new apothecary jars! You could fill them with goodies and give as gifts, or do what I did and fill them with cotton and q-tips for the bathroom!

Sixteen

I bought a non-maternity maternity swimsuit the other day (meaning it's not actually maternity, but it works with a growing tummy), and it's the only thing I want to wear. You know that little pooch some of us have? My lower stomach has joined forces with the pooch and decided to make one round uni-belly. No more pooch! I can't wait for warm weather and sand holes at the beach so I can lay on my stomach! Also, this pasty-white skin thing isn't helping my look.

Weight: 149 lbs; 1 pound gained since 10 week visit. My doctor told me to "feel free to gain a little weight now that I'm feeling better." It was nice to hear, since weight gain has been one of my shameful concerns.

Sleeping on my stomach is still doable, but I have to have a pillow under one of my hips to elevate me a little. I'm side-sleeping a lot more, by no effort of my own.

A friend lent me some of her maternity pants and I love them! When you're sick and all you wear is sweats, nobody judges you and you are comfortable. But when you feel fine and none of your clothes fit, it just makes you feel bad about yourself.

I'm really forgetful and very easily distracted. If I'm talking and Conrad holds something up in front of me, like a piece of mail, I lose all coherency. I become a mumbling mess and I can't get back on track.

Craving this week: healthier foods. I notice that I want salads and veggies more than I was before. Still no chicken allowed, unless it's a "strip" and it's been deep fried and tossed in BBQ sauce. I want burgers a lot. Lots of red meat. Sandwiches. Mmmmm, sandwiches...

I always thought the uterus (and hence, the baby) was located in your way-lower stomach, like the spot between your hip bones. Turns out, it's a little higher. Right now, it's right behind my belly button. After dinner last night, we laid on the bed and pushed around on my stomach a little bit to see if we could feel baby move. AND HE DID! Don't worry, I didn't push any harder than the ultrasound tech pushed. He kicked back like, "C'mon, guys! Give me some space!" Coolest thing ever. Poor Conrad couldn't feel it.

Um, pregnant nosebleeds? That's a thing? Apparently your blood vessels in your sinus get super full, making you more susceptible to nosebleeds. Also, I pick my nose a lot, so there's that.

Daytimes are pretty much back to normal, except for the extreme forgetfulness and small bouts of fatigue that can usually be fixed by eating. I don't ever feel sick during the day, so I'm able to do all my normal stuff, like go out to lunch and run errands. Except chores. Still can't do chores.

Social media REALLY reaches the masses

Just ask my 1000 Facebook follower giveaway! I put out a call for donors a while ago when I reached 1000 likes, and boy, did I get donors. Check out these amazing girls and the awesome prizes they donated to help me celebrate gaining 1000 likes on Facebook! Interested in being part of an awesome giveaway like this? Email me at tesiahwilk@yahoo.com!

Items you will win:

$20 Target giftcard from Simply, Ashley

Red, handmade scarf from Annie One Can Cook!

$15 Shop credit and free shipping from Top This By Leanne

2 elastic bracelets and a set of 1 wired bracelet and 1 pair of earrings from Sensational Creations

$15 shop credit to Studio Eleven

These Red Top earrings from Aditi Jewelry
$15 shop credit to Little Glass Slippers
Pacifier clip from Bling For Baby
$10 Amazon giftcard from Part of That World
A Vintage Feel Necklace from Peace Love Sequins
$10 Target giftcard from Sincerely, Leslie
$15 Starbucks giftcard from I Know This Much is True
A set of jeweled bobby pins from Lilla Rose

Ad Space you will win: 

210 x 210 ad from Ladies in Navy

2 Months Large Ad Space from Fox and Hazel

2 Months 200 x 100 ad space from The Crafty Side of Sarcasm

200 x 300 Large ad from Lily White English Rose

Medium ad from Pandora's Craft Box

Large 215 x 215 ad from The Cottage Diaries

Medium ad space from Serenity You
2 months 250 x 250 ad space from Sweet Silver Lining* (FEBRUARY SPONSOR)
2 months 200 x 200 ad space from Let It Shine
Medium ad from The Life of a Not So Ordinary Wife
Large Ad from The Domestic Geek
Glass Slipper Ad from Life in a Breakdown
2 Months Large ad space from Homegrown & Healthy
Large ad from Sunny With a Chance of Sprinkles
3 months of 200 x 200 ad space from I Know This Much is True

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Call for swaps!

Last summer, before my belly housed an infant

Hey blogger friends!
A new month is beginning, which means I need to fill my sponsor spots! I have a few that didn't sell, so I want to find similar blogs to swap with. I've had a couple bloggers who wanted to swap with me, but the thing about swapping is that you need to be getting an equally good deal, right? I offer a group giveaway for my sponsors, which usually brings them great traffic, but some swappers only want to offer me a sidebar option. Not exactly fair.

Email me at tesiahwilk@yahoo.com if you meet the following guidelines:
- Your blog has between 750 and 900 followers (or more, but for the sake of fairness...)
- Your ads come with a group giveaway and/or feature post
- You promote your ads on at least 2 social media sites other than your blogs platform

I'm really excited for March! I have some awesome posts planned, and ever since I got pregnant my pageviews have increased almost 50% (though I don't know why, because I mostly only talk about food and awkward bodily functions)! Email me today if you want to trade some awesome advertising! Hope to hear from you soon!