I'm in wonderland

Check out this loot!

I found this website called Alice.com. It's like a drugstore online! Usually I hate buying stuff online, because it's marked up and you have to pay shipping. Well, guess what? Free, fast (4-5 days, as opposed to 14 days) shipping. Always. And, the prices are the same as the grocery store. I think I'm in love.

Here's what I got:
Kleenex 3 pack
2 shave gels
Bar soap
Trash bags
Sponges
Foil
Parchment paper
Shampoo
Conditioner
Deodorant for Conrad
Fiber One pop tarts
Annie's brand cheese crackers

They sell a bunch of other stuff too, so go now! Make your life easier! Expect a big box like this:

Yes, I'm holding the box up with my feet. I was too lazy to use my hands.

I'll let you in on a little secret: There is no space for a promo code at checkout, but email support2@alice.com, tell Michelle that you found the site on my blog (tesslovesconrad.blogspot.com), and she'll give you $10 off your first purchase, as long as it's over $50. You only get this deal for your first purchase, so make sure you hit the minimum. You'll be rolling in toiletries and snacks soon enough.

deaf, but not dead

Conrad and I share everything. Including germs. So when one of us gets sick, the other one is short to follow. This is a poor excuse as to my lack of blogging, but an excuse nonetheless. Last night I was sneezing without a break (seriously, probably 20 times in a row), and this morning I'm so congested that I can't hear out of my left ear.

Some updates:
- we are looking around really seriously to find a house or condo to buy.
- I'm starting the couch to 5k program
- my computer screen broke
- I love my classes

Last night was my father-in-law's 50th birthday! We went up and had stroganoff and cake and hung out (before I went into my sneezing fit and had to go home).
Have a good Sunday! We are.

Annie and Matt's reception

 These two little girls were hugging each other and dancing.

 Laker walking around like he owns the place. Right after this picture, he turned around and walked right into the bride and groom while they were dancing.

 It POURED rain on the way home. It was so bad that I thought we should pull over until we could see a little better. My reckless husband, of course, would have none of that.

You're it!

I got tagged in this blog crawl thing. I have to list 15 interesting things about myself.

1. I love cutting my hair. I always regret it, but I love the sound it makes when the scissors just shear right through my blond locks. This got me into trouble when I was little. First, I cut my own hair. Chopped the bangs off really close to the root. I had little tiny bangs during my 4th year. Then, later, I cut my sister's hair. She had to have a little boy haircut.

2. I treat animals like they are people. I'm not a vegetarian, but I love animals. I really bond with my pets. My family's dog Jasper gets so pampered. I was raised that pets are your friends, even when nobody else is. My chinchilla, Ninners, is a really good listener.

3. I have a weird obsession with food. Not eating it, necessarily, but looking at it. If I'm flipping through a cookbook and the pictures are really beautiful, I have to buy it. It's like porn for me. When I cook, I try to make the food look like it should be in a magazine.

4. I also have a mild obsession with Gwyneth Paltrow. I don't understand it.

5. It's a common thing for me to have a panic attack when I go in the ocean. I feel like my life is no longer in my own control. Sharks, jellyfish, stray surfboards, angry surfers, getting tangled in my leash, getting exhausted and being too weak to swim... So many death threats.

6. My mom is blind. Usually, when people meet her, they have no idea. She hides it well. She has Retinitis Pigmentosa, a hereditary disease that all 4 of the kids are at risk of having. She started losing her sight when I was about 6, and then she stopped driving. It wasn't ever a big deal. It was just the way our family was. We all are a lot more patient because of it, I think.

7. I hate being told, "you're so lucky." Everything I have in my life is from hard work I've done and choices I've made. Don't tell me I'm lucky. I work really hard for everything I have.

8. Up until really recently, I've always hated games. My family never played them. I'm not a competitive person, so if I lose, it makes me feel embarrassed. My in-laws are helping me with this, as they are big game players.

9. I'm not a very organized person. Sometimes, everything is put away and clean, but usually all my stuff is everywhere. I like to see everything. It reminds me of the things I need to do.

10. I LOVE NPR. How grown up am I? I listen to news radio. And I love it. And I write papers about the topics discussed.

11. I made a 30 before 30 list. I have 8 1/2 years to get it all done. I'll post it later.

12. I can't wait to buy a house. We are trying to live really cheaply so we can buy one soon. It was either that, or get a new car. I'd definitely rather be in a house with an old car than an apartment with a new car.

13. I love traveling, even if it's just to the zoo. Conrad and I have actually taken several vacations (some of them very brief) since we've been married. Last Valentine's Day, we went to Laguna Beach and stayed at a hotel for 1 night. It was fun to go to the restaurants in town and take a bike ride. Then for our first anniversary we went to Zion for a few days. Most recently, we went on a cruise. And we are currently deciding what to do for our 2nd anniversary.

14. I'm not a cuddler. It annoys me to be trapped really close to someone else, and just sit there. Conrad is really big on snuggling. He's like a furnace, so it's just torture for me.

15. I have a special relationship with my brother Lane. I love all my siblings, but there's something a little different with me and him. Maybe it's because of the age difference. We are 7 years apart, so we never played together, which also means we never fought. Plus, I'm the only one who remembers when he was born. Kathryn and Ryan were too little to remember. He was born 3 1/2 months early, and almost died. My parents went to the hospital every day for 3 months to visit him in his little incubator. I remember my dad felt so bad about taking pictures of him, but my mom said "if he doesn't make it and we don't have pictures to remember him..." so they took tons of pictures. Now he's like, the most intelligent person I know, almost 6 feet tall, and looks just like me (only 30 lbs lighter).

Now I tag Kate W., Elise, and Jessica to post 15 things about themselves.

I kinda like him.

You don't have to tell me how lucky I am. I married an amazing guy, who is a genius, a hard worker, and so handsome that he was practically chiseled out of granite. This heart shaped group of manholes was on the ground near my house, so I snapped a picture. 

A woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart.
William Shakespeare


Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
Rose Franken

Don't cry for me Argentina

Last night, we were going to get Argentinian food with the Marshall's. We ended up going to the Old Spaghetti Factory, instead, and it was super fun (I am confident that I would have had a 'blow out,' if you will, if we had gotten Argentinian). MMMmmmm, spaghetti completely lost in cheese and butter.

I got to hold a baby. I went with full bangs for the night, something I rarely do out of pure laziness. I love the couches and lamps in the restaurant. You can't really see the couch, but its something like this:

Mom's birthday weekend in LA

To grandmother's house we go.

Dinner at Nana and Papa's

My 36 year old mother. (just kidding, that would make her 15 when she had me). Those were the only candles Nana had.

Opening presents

Passing out after dinner. 

Shooby Dooby

Ruby's date with Conrad. We finally used our giftcard from Christmas.

Aloha burger.

Club burger. See that white chunk under the bacon? That's a massive slab of bleu cheese. Needless to say, Conrad didn't feel too good afterward. 

For dessert: apple pie a la mode with a slice of cheddar melted on top. Don't knock it til you try it.

A Month of Love

"There is something so settled and stodgy about turning a great romance into 'next of kin' on an emergency-room form, and something so soothing and special, too."
- Anna Quindlen

MILLIONAIRE'S SHORTBREAD

Last night, some girls from my ward gathered to watch The Bachelor. I don't watch the show, but I went for the company. It was so entertaining to make fun of the bimbos who stoop to impossibly low levels, just to get a guy they hardly know.

I made these amazing cookie/bar things. I thought I'd have some left, so I didn't take a picture of them. Here's the lone survivor.

For the shortbread:

Preheat oven to 350. 

Butter two 8x8 nonstick pans (I used glass and they turned out fine).

Place 2 cups flour, 2/3 cup sugar, and  1/2 tsp salt in a food processor and pulse once. Add 2 sticks of butter (cut into small pieces) and pulse until the mixture resembles peas (when I did it, it looked like coarse sand). Divide the mixture evenly between the two pans, and press, covering the bottom evenly. Bake until golden brown around the edges, about 20-25 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool completely.

For the caramel layer:

In a saucepan over medium-low heat, combine one 14 oz can of sweetened condensed milk and 2 Tbsp butter. Slowly bring the mixture to a boil, stirring continuously. Continue stirring over the heat until the mixture becomes thick and amber in color (the recipe says about 15-20 minutes, but it took almost 40. Your arm will get very tired). Pour the caramel over the cooled shortbread and spread evenly using a spatula. Avoid going all the way to the walls of the pan, or the caramel will harden there and be difficult to pry away. Cool to room temperature.

For the chocolate: In a glass bowl over a saucepan of simmering water, melt 12 oz of quality milk chocolate (or bittersweet, if you want). Once melted, pour over the cooled caramel layer. Again, avoid the walls of the pan, or when you cut the bars, they won't come away from the edges easily. Sprinkle with fleur de sel or flaky sea salt. Cool for a few minutes, then stick it in the fridge to set. Cut and serve.

*Be generous with the salt. What you think would be too much, is probably just right. You definitely want to taste it. 

It's kind of a labor-intensive recipe, but its so good. Each layer has to cool for a while, so you can walk away for a bit and do other stuff.