Pregnancy Dreams of Late

Despite my new sleeping arrangement, the raging hormones and my own subconscious thoughts have left me with quite a few weird dreams lately.

- A nightmare in which I and my crew of heroes were searching for a monster that was terrorizing our village. We trekked to the abandoned life-size dollhouse on the tiny island in the middle of a lake at night in search of the beast. We searched the house with all of it's SUPER creepy dollhouse stuff, and finally happened upon the monster, which was a giant sloth. Yes, a sloth. Only super fast. We had to run away from it, getting lost in all of the corridors of the house. We finally got back to our little boat safely and started putting back to the village. I looked behind us up at the house, and the creature was staring at us through the tallest window. It then let out a blood-curdling screech, as I'm sure sloths don't do, jumped out the window in a physics-defying leap, and landed on the boat by latching it's mouth square on my boob. Then I woke up.

I think I have some issues with breastfeeding. Not sure.

- A dream which I don't remember at all, only that my baby was born with giant, bionic ears.

- A dream that was actually Conrad's (hormone induced dreams must be contagious, or he's just preparing his brain for a baby. Either way.). The baby came out spanking brand new speaking full, adult-level sentences, and was being passed around church having conversations with everyone.

- A multitude of other dreams which I don't remember because they were interrupted by leg cramps, night sweats, trips to the bathroom, or I woke myself up with my own sleep talking.

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Now that we all have a reasonable grasp on what goes on in my brain, I'd like to invite you to sponsor The Framed Lady! I have some amazing sponsors already lined up for next month, so you'll be sure to get some great exposure on my sidebar, by participating in the group giveaway, and in a feature post (XL and L only). 

Here are the deets.

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For specific ad space details, check out my advertise page. My growth equals your growth, and baby, I've been growing. 

Ok, before this post gets any weirder (I did tell you about the boob sloth, after all), I'm gonna check out and say have an awesome Memorial Day weekend! And don't forget to enter the May Group Giveaway and the Beverly Swimwear giveaway!

My weekend is starting on a Thursday!

It's the weirdest timing ever (I'm giving birth in two months), but my eyelash business is really picking up, partly thanks to your awesome advice a while ago! I got some business cards on the cheap from Vistaprint.com, and I've been making about 3 appointments per week! 

I'm heading to LA for Memorial Day weekend to spend time with my family, eat all things barbequed, and go baby shopping with my mom (for baby stuff, not babies), and I've got three appointments for up there! I'm even making money on vacation! Love it. Funny how fulfilling it is when you earn money.

What are your Memorial Day plans? Hopefully they involve swimsuits, sunshine, good food, and a moment of remembrance for our fallen soldiers!

The angel in the burger joint

Last night, I had a meeting a few cities away, and I decided that I would take myself out to one of my favorite burger joints that I normally wouldn't drive so far for. While I stood in line, I could feel people's eyes on me - on the bump. It's very obviously a pregnant bump now, not a chubby one, so I'm not usually insecure about it. But in this restaurant full of people, full of couples on dates, full of an entire fire department, I felt kind of exposed.

I ordered my food to-go and looked for a place to sit while I waited. It was packed. There was a bench for people waiting for to-go orders but it was totally packed with men over the age of 80. I wasn't about to let them give up there seat for me, a much less deserving and more-capable-of-standing person. The man on the end started to stand, but I told him I was fine and he could stay seated. Rather than insisting that I take his spot, he scooted over and made some room beside him.

We sat, thighs touching, me and this 85-year-old man. He asked me how I was doing. He asked me without hesitation or worry of offending me when my baby was due. It was refreshing to talk to someone who didn't dance around the topic before asking questions about pregnancy. He knew I was pregnant and just dove right in.

He started telling me how he and his wife had eight kids together. I told him this was my first and I was very excited. He laughed and told me how they had four daughters, then a son, then they thought they knew what they were doing so they tried for more boys and got two more girls, and then seven years later, a big surprise for everyone, they got another boy. We laughed and he even patted my belly. He asked me "the wife does way more work, so could a husband really say WE have a baby? She's really the one who does it all." Then his number was called and he picked up his food, wished me luck and left.

I sat there trying to stifle my beaming smile. I'm sure it made everyone wonder what in the world the pregnant girl is laughing at. I picked up my burger and ate it in my car in the parking lot, thinking about that old man. I wished I had invited him to eat with me or at least find out his name. For the five minutes we chatted, he totally lifted my spirits, made me feel beautiful, and reaffirmed my excitement for this new life I'm creating.

Thanks, Old Angel Man. Many more burgers will be eaten in your honor, and in the hopes that I run into you again at the burger place.

Beverly Swimwear Giveaway

Today's giveaway is from Beverly Swimwear, an awesome modest swimwear shop. These handmade suits give "women more stylish options while allowing [them] to remain modest." Most of them are retro-inspired, which means more flattering and more coverage without compromising style. Beverly is giving away one swimsuit (winner's choice!). Which one would you choose?

For a chance to win, please complete the Rafflecopter entries below. The winner will be chosen at random next week. Good luck!

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PLUS: looking for another chance to win stuff? Enter the May group giveaway for ad spaces, art, and a blog design!

Some things that make me uncomfortable (that might make you uncomfortable). And a bedroom story.

- Oh my word, the church pews. There is no place less comfortable. Every Sunday about fifteen minutes into the meeting, without fail, I start shifting uncomfortably (and very conspicuously). I often somehow end up laying or nearly laying on the pew, at which point I decide it would just be better for everyone if I go sit on the couches in the foyer or the rockers in the mother's room.

- I'm sprouting a weird amount of stray hairs on my stomach. Of all places... The worst is that it's on the low part of my stomach, under the bump, so I can't see it in order to shave it. I did a blind shave and just hoped I got it all. I thought I was successful but Conrad found a missed one and teased me for it. Normally a few stomach hairs wouldn't bother me, but seeing that it's summer and either want to be in a bathing suit or naked most of the time, I figured I should just do the beach-goers of San Diego a favor and try to get rid of them.

- I'm sleeping a pretty consistent ten hours a day, and I wake up every three hours to pee and get some more water. Every time I get up, the baby thinks it's time to wiggle, so I think when I add up all of the actual sleep time, it's closer to seven hours.

- I want a crib. I'm dying for a crib. Why? Not to put a baby in. Baby can stay where he is for now. I want a crib so I can put all of the junk baby stuff I've accumulated into it and get it off my bedroom floor. How's that for nesting?

- Speaking of the bedroom... that whole thing is awkward. Not that. The actual sleeping part. I used to look on our bed as a wonderful place. The most comfortable place in the world. I even devoted a whole post to it. Now, that horrible thing is my nemesis. It doesn't let me sleep. It's too hard. It's too small. Sharing a bed with someone in such close proximity is driving me and my belly orb bonkers. There simply isn't enough room in it for me, the orb, my five pillows, and my husband whose body somehow kicks into furnace mode while he sleeps. Plus, sharing blankets has become, like, my second least favorite thing. For a while, Conrad was the sweetest thing ever and SLEPT ON THE FLOOR so I could get a good night's sleep. Can you even believe?

Then, after a while, he started getting whiny and wanted back on the bed. I had to allow it, but then I was cranky from discomfort and lack of sleep. So I solved my own problem by going and sleeping on the guest bed. This worked a few times, but left us lonely. There's something about waking up next to someone you like that just makes you have a better day. So Conrad started to give me guff again. Something about how we're married and shouldn't be sleeping in separate rooms, and sharing a bed isn't an option. I tried to truck it out in the nemesis queen, but found that my back hurt and my brain didn't want to work the next day. I told Conrad, "Hey, why don't you sleep in the guest room with me?! After all, the marvelous twin bed with the saggy mattress that allows me to still sleep on my stomach does have a trundle you could sleep on!"

So we've been trundling for the past couple weeks (this is actually why Conrad got me the body pillow for Mother's Day; he was hoping it might make the queen more comfortable for me. It didn't). Conrad is such a good sport. He still has a thing about being on separate twin beds, but I argue that they're practically the same bed as long as the mattresses are touching. We don't have to share blankets, I get the wonderful mattress sag (which any normal human would hate), and we get to wake up together!

Now taking donations for a new king bed. Did you have major sleep problems when you were pregnant? Did they go away after you had the baby, or did your new habits stick around?

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Today's featured sponsor is Sarah from A Cat-Like Curiosity.

This girl is awesome. First of all, she's a super talented artist. Second of all, she's from the UK, which automatically makes her cool. She's really just so inspirational. You'll see all kinds of posts on her blog brimming with positivity and hope, two things I'm trying to have more of in my life (and you should too!). Plus, she's got an awesome series for those of us who have Etsy shops: The Secrets of Etsy Success. Check out her freebies page and download some inspiring printables! Seriously, go check out Sarah's blog. You'll be happy you started following her! If you're looking for a little uplift in your day, or maybe for a cool artist to check out, she's your girl. Also, be sure to enter the May Group Giveaway, where you can win 2 prints from Sarah, as well as some awesome other prizes!

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Twenty Seven

First, can I just say that it's laughable that I thought I had a belly here. 

Second, my first Mother's Day was pretty great. Conrad got me this body pillow. At first, I kind of hated it and wished he had gotten me some new canvas and a bluetooth device. But then, THEN, a couple days later, I took a nap with it and slept for a good 50% of a 24 hour period. I had the most glorious pillow lines on my chest and face, and it took them an hour and a half to go away. That's how you know you slept well. 

My mom got me some pregnancy and labor goodies. She said she "wanted to get something that was more for mommy than baby." A cocoa butter stick for my belly (which is mysteriously void of stretchmarks; my tots, on the other hand...), a bottle of massage oil that smells like a spa (meant for massaging my body while I'm pregnant), and a delicious candle that makes me wonder if I have pica (I promise I don't). I don't think the candle will make it with us to the hospital. I've already burned through a third of it. 

My parents took us to the Pasadena Showcase which is one of my favorite, favorite things. Looking through artfully decorated homes might be my number one thing to do, ever. The only downside was that it was LA's surprise heatwave weekend meant to kill pregnant women. 95 degrees outside, 100 degrees inside. Yes, friends, they did not condition that air. Many contractions were had. 

As for pregnancy milestones, we're one week away from third trimester! The boy-child is getting bigger and stronger, as are his kicks. 

May Group Giveaway

Blog Design from Confessions of a Busy Busy Bee

2 months of Diamond Ad Space from Domestic Mamma

2 months Large Stitches Ad Space from Chevron Stitches

2 Art prints from A Cat-Like Curiosity

These ladies were SO generous with their donations this month! Click on the links above to see these amazing women and the prizes they are offering. One lucky winner will take all offered prizes.

Just complete the RC form below to earn your entries!

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DIY Paper Pendant

I made this pendant wreath a while ago when I had an abundance of energy and inspiration (you know, before I got pregnant). But really, it is the easiest craft you could do. It looks totally bookshop-y and country. 

HOW TO:

Cut a piece of cardboard about 4 inches in diameter. This will be the backing to the pendant. Set aside. 

Take an old book. One with yellowed pages would be good, but you may want to go with a more stark look, depending on the room. Carefully tear or cut the pages out of the book as close to the binding as possible. Roll each individual page into a very gradual cone, and secure with a piece of tape. 

Assemble the pages to form a circle, and use hot glue to secure to the cardboard backing. Make sure the taped sides of the rolls are in the back. If there is a small gap in the middle of the circle when it's complete, that's fine. You'll cover it up.

For the center piece, I just used some crumpled brown paper cut into circles with scalloped scissors. I layered 4 or 5 pieces on top of each other to give it a more flowered look. You could also use a circular printout if you have one you've been wanting to use, or some scrapbook paper. 

To hang on a wall, hot glue some twine or ribbon to the backing. 

If you end up making one, take a picture and send it to me! I'd love to see how you styled it in your home, or what different materials you used!

A nursery for a little prince (because seriously, we'd have to be royalty to afford it)

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Oh, baby boy stuff. That co-sleeper up there was designed by some Italian designers for a contest, and it isn't actually a product you can buy, but man, do I wish it was. It's the most sensible design for a co-sleeper I've ever seen. Why are there no others like it?! 

The Restoration Hardware crib and dresser are totally beautiful and absolutely too expensive for me. I'm thinking I'll either go with a white crib or a driftwood crib like the one above. And don't get me started on how senseless changing tables are. I'll take a full-size dresser and a $20 changing pad, thankyouverymuch. 

As for decor, I was thinking I'd stick with a nautical theme and go with whales (which I still love), but maybe I'll go less "theme-y" and more "do whatever I want because my baby won't care anyway." So I threw a hot-air balloon mobile into the mix, and I'm super in love with the grey and yellow one above. 

And more whale art. 

Phrases pregnant women hate

"You look like you're about to pop!"
I had one person tell me this, and I was 20 weeks along. Granted, he was 21 and had probably never been around a pregnant woman, so he totally couldn't have guessed how far along I was. Mostly it was just funny. I actually like when people acknowledge I'm growing, but I might be weird.

"You look so much bigger/smaller than ___ weeks!" 
I'm never offended when people tell me I look smaller, but some people are. I'm honestly not even offended when people tell me I'm carrying large. A woman at church asked me "Are you sure you're not having twins?" and it didn't even phase me. It's probably all the hormones. They're like sedatives or something. I'm comfortable with my size, but it certainly wouldn't feel good to have someone say outright "You're gaining a lot of weight," or suggesting that you're underweight and therefore malnourishing your baby. Gee, thanks.

"Should you be eating that?"
This one gets my goat, along with any other comments about my behavior that would suggest I'm using bad judgement. Yes, I'm drinking soda. With caffeine in it. Yes, I eat red meat several times a week. Yes, I even ate sushi - real sushi, not the cooked excuse for sushi - when I was first pregnant because it was the only thing I kept down.

"You look tired/uncomfortable."
Well, you look like a fat person with too-skinny legs. Oh wait, that's also me. Just don't comment on a pregnant woman's appearance. Her ego is fragile.

When people ask the gender but then still call the baby an "it" rather than a he or she.
Why would you ask if it's a girl or boy if you aren't going to refer to it by it's gender-specific pronoun?

When people ask awkward questions like "Are you excited?" or "Is the dad excited?" 
Of course I'm excited. And why would the dad be extra-excited? Because it's a boy? Here's how to respond. Make the asker feel as awkward as these stupid questions. Say "Oh, not really. We were trying not to get pregnant but it happened anyway." Or "There's no father. I got pregnant in a one-night-stand." They'll never ask you a stupid question again. Mission accomplished.

"Can I touch your belly?" Or worse, touching without asking.
Only a few people have touched my belly, and they all asked first. It doesn't really bother me. I understand that they just want to "give their good energy" to the baby or feel him move. If I'm feeling like I don't want to be touched, I'll simply say, "Oh, he's asleep right now, but if he wakes up and starts moving, I'll tell you so you can feel!" No one ever pushes too hard. I think most people understand boundaries. It's usually older women who touch without asking.

When people ask what names we're thinking of, I tell them, and they proceed to call the baby by one of those names - or worse, a nickname. 
It's not his name now. It might be his name when he gets here. Please don't lock me into a certain name when I may want to reserve the right to change it. This one, weirdly, is probably the most irritating one to me. I've simply just started lying and telling people who ask that we don't have any names in mind yet. We do.

And other questions asking about what I plan to do, like "Are you going to breastfeed?" "Are you going to get an epidural?" etc. They make me feel like no matter how I answer, I'm about to be judged. What I find most irritating are the questions I have to answer a thousand times, like "How are you feeling?" "When are you due?" "Boy or girl?" "Do you have any names picked out?" I just get tired of saying the same rehearsed answer over and over again.

What's the most obnoxious thing anyone has said to you while you were pregnant? This could get fun.

2 Ingredient Pineapple Bars

Here's a Pinterest recipe for y'all. It intrigued me because it only called for two ingredients and both were items that I had in my pantry.

It's seriously absurdly easy. If you're out of eggs, no problem. If you're out of absolutely everything except a box of angel food cake mix and a can of crushed pineapple, no problem. 

In a bowl, combine 1 box of angel food cake mix and one can of crushed pineapple, juice and all. It should be kind of foamy. Pour into a greased 9 x 13 pan and bake for 30 minutes at 350 F. 

What results is a dense, moist cake that I decided to label as "bars" since it was significantly denser than a regular cake. I bought a generic cake mix which was kind of different than if a Betty Crocker mix. Instead of one bag of cake mix, there were two separate bags in the box - one labeled "flour mix" and one labeled "egg white mix." I was kind of confused, so I just dumped both mixes into a bowl and combined with the crushed pineapple. 

Maybe a name brand cake mix would have turned out differently. Maybe less dense? Have any of you tried this recipe with a name brand cake mix and gotten a different result? I'd be curious to hear! 

I made an easy cream cheese frosting that turned out lumpy, served it with fresh berries and called it a day. 

So, about those teenage years...

Check out my awesome MS Paint skills..

To my awesome mother who dealt with more drama from me than from all my other siblings combined. To my mother-in-law who did the same for my husband. 

To all the women out there who have ever had a baby. I never knew what it took until now, and I haven't even had the thing yet.

And to all the women who have ever been nice to, helped, smiled at, protected, or otherwise positively affected a child, whether you have children of your own or not. 

Happy Mother's Day to all, and may there be an abundance of chocolate, and may you enjoy hours of having your feet elevated, and maybe even massaged. 

Twenty-Six

- My cravings are leaning toward the unhealthy. I've craved meat the whole pregnancy, but it's starting to get out of hand. I ate at In-N-Out four times (for you out-of-staters, it's the West Coast's favorite burger), plus I had a steak at some point. Any time I want meat, I allow myself to have it because I'd rather gain weight from red meat than have crazy constipation from an iron supplement.

- Also, this happened.^^^  If this ever happens again, I want you to slap me in my pregnant face and remind me that there is no excuse - NO EXCUSE - for this behavior. Pregnancy does not justify it. (Also, follow me on instagram for more of my awesome food updates)

- I had a doctor's appointment this week, and we discussed my gestational diabetes test results (which were totally normal, despite the whole me-and-a-can-of-whipped-cream thing). My doctor even commended me on the seventeen pounds I've gained. "You had a slow start. You lost weight in the first trimester, so you needed to catch up." And then, at some point while we listened to the baby's heartbeat, I mentioned how much extra hair there is on my stomach, and she insisted that I wasn't hairy at all. I think I love this woman.

- The baby kicked SO hard while I was in the bath the other day that the bath water actually splashed from the jolt. Like, water sloshed around and my belly was the epicenter.

- Conrad is just the dreamiest. He was laying on my belly's upper half, looking downward at the lower half watching and feeling the baby kick him smack in the face, and he started singing "Sea of Love," one of our current favorite lullabies. Conrad does this thing when he can't remember the words to a song where he just makes up whatever words he wants. Usually, what results is an absurd string of words that make no sense next to each other. But this time, he made up the sweetest little rhyme:

Actual words:
Come with me, my love
To the sea, the sea of love
I wanna tell you 
How much I love you

Words that Conrad made up:
Baby boy, do you recall
The day we started it all
I wanna tell you 
How much I love you

I promptly started crying, as pregnant women do. I just imagined him singing those words to our son years down the line, referring back to the first time they laid eyes on each other, and the tears came a-flowin'.

Have I mentioned I'm really enjoying pregnancy?

How Grand (as in, a thousand) (also as in, how great)

Welp, we're well on our way to reaching 1000 followers on GFC! When I combine all my social media platforms, and even account for some overlap, The Framed Lady reaches significantly more than 1000 people, but you know how us bloggers can be with milestones.

So I've decided to plan a giveaway. Once I get to 1000 followers on GFC, I want to put together a big giveaway with a big prize (maybe a cash prize, maybe an assortment of giftcards?), and I want to invite EVERYONE to participate!

Here's the info:

Options for donating:

$3 - 1 social media link (either Facebook or Twitter)

$6 - 2 social media links (either Facebook or Twitter for the first link, and one additional link)

$9 - 3 social media links (either Facebook or Twitter for the first link, and two additional links)

$12 - Co-host position (1 mandatory social media link and two additional links, at least one link must be Facebook or Twitter)

Giveaway will start within one week of reaching 1000 GFC followers. I'll keep you updated as it gets closer. 

Plus, if you sign up and share the announcement post (fill out the form to get the code), you can win an option upgrade if you refer the most people! Help me get to 1000 followers and let's all gain some new followers!

If you could be a doll and fill out this donation form, that sure would be awesome! 

Nesting

It's been 65+ degrees in our neck of the woods despite all the rain. Conrad spent one of the rainy days with me checking items off our to-do list. Normal to-do lists consist of doing the dishes, running errands, or sweep the porch. It was an unconventional list: clean the ash out of the fireplace, clean the barbeque, dust the baseboards, clean the walls (yes, walls) in the master bathroom. Ah, nesting. And ah, Conrad, for humoring me and helping me reach up high and bend down low (or doing it for me, rather, since my body's range of movement is becoming more and more limited).

I still have a few things on my list as far as nesting goes, and the list gets longer as we get closer to Boy's arrival. I'm toying with the idea of painting all of our walls, I need to designate a "baby area" in our house, and I get weird artistic urges to paint, which result in entire days spend behind a canvas, and when I finally emerge, there's paint in my hair and a smile on my face. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go construct built-in shelves and buy a new king bed. And probably start a farm, or something.