Thursday, March 15, 2012

Awkward Pokes

Last night I made lemon bread. You can tell from the last picture that husband enjoyed it. He was so nice, doing dishes for me in his shorts and tall black socks. Such a stylish man. 

- Putting your boots on before anything else, and then trying to pull underwear and jeans over them. I must have been super excited to wear my boots right when I woke up, because this decision would only make sense to a half-asleep person. 
- All fashion trends of the '90's. All of them. It doesn't mean they don't look good or aren't cool, but by principle, they're all awkie. Dark lipstick with a really casual, baggie outfit. Grunge. Greasy hair. Skin-tight tops with oversized pants. Flat tops. 
- The word awkie.
- That weird underboob thing you get when your tots are too much for your bra to handle. I usually have that. 
- Going into a public restroom and talking to yourself because you think you're alone, then realizing there's a person in the stall next to you. 
- Choking on spicy food. It looks sort of like you're crying, laughing, and dying all at once. And then people look at you like "Oh my gosh, are you ok?" And you're like "Oh, yeah, fine. I just have habanero salsa dissolving my lung tissue. No big." And then they pat your back, like it's going to help. 
- Vicks Vap-o-Rub. The fastest way to take the romance out of a night is to rub some of that stuff on your neck. "Oh, honey, you smell like an old lady. MMmmm." But boy, does it make the stuffiness go away. 

1 comment:

  1. i never have that.. u know what im talkin bout...
    ps. UR SO FUNNY!!!!


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