Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Life: may cause drowziness

I don't know what's going on, but I've been SO TIRED lately! I hit a wall around 8:00 pm, and I'm ready to go to sleep! My eyes feel super dry, I yawn nonstop, and can't focus on anything for more than an hour (unless it's TV).

Here's the weird part: I'm not pregnant. I checked. Twice.

I worked a ton of hours last week (though I think every childcare hour counts as 3), so I was completely mentally depleted. I'm not used to being around children for long amounts of time. I don't especially like children. But I'm good with them, and word gets out. If you watch one person's kids and they don't die, suddenly you're the go-to nanny/babysitter for the whole community.

I'm not complaining. It makes great money, and I like taking care of people. But last week, I spent 144 hours straight caring for children. Literally. 144 hours in a row. I was burnt out. I was tired of crying kids. I was tired of peed on beds. I was tired of child conversations. I was tired of 2 loads of laundry every day. I was tired of watching Power Rangers instead of Breaking Bad. I was tired of baby tantrums.

I was plain-old tired. Is it any wonder, then, that it feels like my bedtime around 8:00?

I left Conrad home with a child on Saturday for about an hour and "ran to the bank." I actually did go to the bank, but I spend a good half-hour in See's Candy, buying a whole box just for myself. I came home and hid the box. I have since eaten all of the chocolate.

I'm beginning to understand motherhood. Motherhood is exhaustion. Motherhood is "going to the bank." Motherhood is hidden grown-up candy. Motherhood is a secret moment locked in your room trying to not cry, just because you're so stinking tired.

But I'll tell you something. Quiet time and alone time are so much more gratifying when they're more rare. And the happy smile from a just-fed child, or the snore of a napping baby, or the smile on a kid when you're picking him up from school. Those are darn great moments.

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  1. Wow. Props girl. I have a hard time with kids myself, and though I think I'll love my own kids just fine, taking care of other peoples kids is terrible for me. I find it absolutely exhausting and find it hard to see the good stuff behind the snot and tantrums and lying about what mom allows them to do. It's absolutely exhausting. 144 hours with other peoples kids?? You should win an award.
    (That being said, I don't hate kids and I will cherish my future children haha. I'm just not one of those people that craves children. They are foreign to me.)

    1. I know exactly how you feel. I'm sure I will adore my children, but as of right now, I'm not much of a kid person. The nice thing about watching other people's kids is that it ends at some point.

  2. I promise its easier to be a mom than to baby sit. Its still exhausting, and you still need your alone time and "trips to the bank" but its easier.

  3. Being a teacher and a mother of 2 I completely understand how life can just take over and leave you completely overwhelmed at times. You do feel as if you have been run over a truck a few times... but it is a work in progress... and it does not get any easier (except for adult candy and wine :) !!! )
    I am following you now and would love for you to follow back.

  4. i always get super, super tired like that when i'm about to get sick. i hope you're not getting sick!

  5. I used to babysit every weekend, and during the week worked at a local rec centre doing childcare programs -- I did that for a few years until I couldn't take it anymore. I love kids, but they are exhausting! But I agree, the money is fabulous!


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