Wednesday, October 10, 2012

What kind of driver are you?

The incher

This person feels no need to ever completely stop, ever. They begin slowing for a light 200 feet in advance, and slowly inch their way forward. The space between them and the car in front of them could usually hold at least two cars. This person tends to drive 15 miles under the speed limit. This person takes forever to pull out of a parking space, and is known as The Wall in parking lots.

The speeder/tailer

This person is always in a hurry for no reason. This person often drives an obnoxious "street racing" style car, who's rims have been cheaply painted black. There may or may not be purple or lime green flames on the sides of the car. The muffler has been removed, causing surrounding cars and pedestrians to feel as if they are about to be thrown into a wood chipper. I generally try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but this person, 99% of the time, does not deserve it. There really is no reason for him to be speeding. His wife is not in labor (the driver could never get a wife, as he hops from sales job to sales job, spending all his money on things like a matte black paint job). Also, nobody is thinking "That guy looks so cool pushing 80 in a school zone." We're all thinking "I hope that guy gets jail time and a huge fine." This guy is known as The Hazard in all aspects of life. In parking lots, we call him The Stealer, because he swoops into the spot you've been waiting for.

The lane blocker

This person is timid. He wants to make a right-hand turn at a light, but chooses to turn very widely, confusing everyone around him. While most drivers will pull into the right hand turn lane next to the other cars, this person worries greatly that his car won't fit, so he pulls forward slightly, and stops, blocking the lane for other drivers who have a smidge of bravery. This guy is also known as The Wall, like the incher.

The twin

This person matches the speed of the person next to him, no matter how fast they are going. This makes it very difficult to change lanes, because if you speed up, they speed up, and if you slow down, they slow down. If you get the chance to speed up very quickly and get in front of this person, he will usually flash his brights at you, or flip you off.

What other kinds of driving personalities are there? What kind are you?


  1. LOL I love this! I've been told I'm "efficient" when I drive. However I tend to be a magnet to the incher drivers. :( I ask that everyone do the speed limit, or 5 above, except in school zones when it is not appropriate to tail gate me or you will get a brake check. I insist on pulling up to the line at lights, not 10 feet back. Pay attention to traffic signs and obey them. (My biggest pet peeve is on my drive to work, there is a "country" road that is 45 mph, with two signs posted on this road. People INSIST on doing 35-40 and those are the people I feel the need to follow closely behind (though not tail gate for fear of getting brake checked) and point at the signs as we pass them, in hopes they know how to read. Driving gets me on a big soap box! :)

  2. i'm not nessicarily an incher but i'm not a any of the other ones either.

  3. Newest follower here. haha this post it great. I agree completely!


Thanks for your comment!