Sunday, November 4, 2012

The pregnancy story: Part 1

I've had lots of posts titled "Big News" or "Exciting News," but this is the biggest news yet. I told you guys a while ago that I got off birth control after very prayerful consideration. It was very scary and emotional. I thought to myself "I wish I would just get pregnant on accident, so that I wouldn't have to make this huge decision."

I knew I was ready, but I was terrified. I was sad to change our happy lives. I was sad that it wouldn't be just us anymore. I didn't want to share my love with anyone but Conrad. I've adjusted. Here's the big news.

We're officially trying. 

I know, you're disappointed. You wanted me to say "I'm pregnant!" Sorry. Not this month. I wanted to share some of the more personal side of this whole process, since it's very scary for me, and I'm sure that other women feel the same.

It took me 2 years to find a pill that worked well with my body. When I finally did, my skin was clear, my periods were 3 days long and it was technically just spotting. My mood swings were really regulated and I never felt depressed or "not myself" (which is something that is common when on BC, even if you don't have depression).

So getting off the pill, I knew that certain things would become more difficult - and they did. I've had consistent breakouts (not bad acne, but zits, and I haven't really dealt with them for 2 years). My first period off the pill was 10 days late. If that doesn't scare a girl half to death, I don't know what will. When it finally came, it was like a torrential downpour. I ruined all my underwear. I was hungrier and moodier. And to top it all off, I was afraid of the idea that these things meant I might get pregnant soon.

My body has finally adjusted to being off those hormones, and to the idea of pregnancy. I'm less afraid. We're even getting more excited. I went out and bought an ovulation kit and some pregnancy tests. I'd recommend that if you're trying to get pregnant, these are things you want available. You don't want to be stuck without a pregnancy test when you really want to take one.

I took one of the ovulation tests. It looks just like a pregnancy test. You pee on it, and it gives you a positive or negative answer - yes, you're ovulating, or no, you're not. It said no. I felt sad.

I felt sad?!

It's an ovulation test. Not a pregnancy test. I think I'm so excited to see a positive pee test that it doesn't even matter if it's an ovulation one. I felt like I failed it. I know I'll be ovulating in like, twelve days or something, so I'm not legitimately worried. It was weird, though, to have that emotion, even for a millisecond, when it's only my second month off the pill, and my first month of trying.

Have you ever experienced these roller-coaster emotions during your "fertility attempts?" If so, please share your advice!


  1. I think it is great that you are posting this - and putting yourself out their for the entire blogging community to see.

    I NEVER had issues while I was on BC, I was on it for 7 years and realized how much I loved it when I got off. I broke out, gained weight, had horrible periods and was a grouch ALL the time.

    The hubby and I knew we weren't ready to get pregnant, but had been told from multiple people(one of which was a doctor!) that it would take us a while to get pregnant because I had been on BC for so long.
    2 months later I found I was pregnant. HA. We are still not ready, but have learned that obviously their is a bigger picture and that the 'plan for us' will all work itself out.

    Religion aside, when you and your body are ready to get pregnant, it will happen, and I can't wait to keep reading about it!

    :) Yay for trying!!

  2. Try not to stress about it too much, it will only make it harder each month if you don't get pregnant. Period emotions are enough, don't add not getting pregnant on top of it haha we have been trying for over a year so just give it some time and it will happen when it happens.

  3. Even though we were trying when we got pregnant with our little girl, I did not expect to have such strong negative emotions like I did. Suddenly I realized my life was going to change for ever and I don't do well with change. Luckily pregnancy is 9 months long and by the time I found out she was a girl I was so excited and I couldn't wait for her. Pregnancy is a big deal and its okay to have a roller coaster of emotions heading into it!

  4. I have 2 daughters.
    For both, I quit the pill and let God do His thing. It took 4 months both times, and we didn't do anything different. No charting periods, no calendars, no ovulation test, etc.
    When I get off the pill, I have the same experience as you had, so each month I do get a period, it is like hell, but I truck through, knowing maybe next month it won't be that way.

    We are 2 months without the pill right now, and I guess are "trying" for our third (and last) baby.....for the first time, I am thinking about the calendar days and thinking about it more intentionally, but still just letting God do His thing.

    Just don't be disheartened if it takes a while. Even if you're ovulating, and really trying, it could just take time. For some, the first time....for others, years. For me, my magic number seems to be 4

  5. I had high hopes that those ovulation tests magically told you when you would ovulate, not a yes or no. But I guess that is asking a lot to program a little calendar onto a 1/2" wide stick. But I know your worries. I thought I was pregnant for about a month, and was so disappointed when I took a test. We were not really trying- but seeing the negative sign just dampens everything, it feels like it tells you, 'You won't get pregnant", not just that you arn't right now.

  6. I know how you feel! My husband and I just started officially trying. It is for sure a roller coaster ride emotionally. I am both excited and scared at the same time. It is a huge step...but one that I know that we are ready for. Good luck! We will both see what happens soon. :)

  7. There is a great site that has MASSIVE amounts of support and you can chat with other ladies going through the same thing. It was a huge help for me and has so much information!

    Good luck! :D


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