I feel really silly posting this. I know that whatever I'm feeling has already been felt before, probably by every single woman who's ever been pregnant. But I want to voice what's happening in my heart because I've never felt this, and I want to not only seek your advice, but let other women know that they are not alone.
Before I got pregnant, I was a very emotional person. Not it a "chemically imbalanced" way, but in an "easily provoked, heightened emotions, both good and bad" kind of way.
Since I got pregnant, my emotions were actually more regulated. I was calmer and more easy-going, and up until now only cried about three times in 4.5 months.
Today, however, I've got the blues. Everything frustrates me. Which is made even more frustrating from the fact that I haven't had to deal with this kind of mood in almost five months, and am a little out of practice. I've been away from my wonderful husband for a week (except for Thursday, when we spent a couple hours seeing our kiddo). I've been sleeping alone, and while I'm physically more comfortable when I have the bed to myself, I don't feel happy when half my heart is two hours away in San Diego.
I've spent the whole time with my brother, who is 16 and very awkward. While he was at school, I spent a couple days with my Nana, who is the sweetest, most giving, loving person, but who is almost 80 and can sometimes be forgetful or redundant. Adding to my blues is the fact that spending time with these two people, who I love very dearly, is actually really draining for me. My patience wears thin, and I get angry at myself for this.
I'm also almost completely out of money, which is stressful for everyone at the end of the month, not just pregnant girls.
All of these things led to my first real hormone-driven meltdown. I cried to my beloved on the phone, just venting and leaking from my face. He comforted me and felt sad with me, and told me he was so proud of me for how I was handling everything.
Now, while I know that I may get more and more sensitive and emotional as the pregnancy progresses, and I know the provokers that cause me stress, I want to extend the question to you readers:
How do you deal with pregnancy meltdowns? What is the worst pregnancy meltdown you've ever had?
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I think the worst one for me this last pregnancy was after we watched The Vow and it scared me to think that there is more than one way to lose the person you love. And I just broke down so bad.
ReplyDeleteOh, that totally gets me, too.
DeleteI LOVE that you post this. I've been meaning to post about my POST baby blues.....I totally understand your pre baby blues, I had several days I was super out of it. Now I am 3 months post baby and have it BAD. Hormones have caused me to break out SO BAD, my face is worse than it's ever been, thus my confidence has taken a horrible dip. My OB told me if i stop breastfeeding, it will go away. Is it horrible that I've considered giving up breastfeeding so I can have my 'flawless' face back?
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Anyways, THANKS for posting. Glad to know your 1. brave enough to post, and that were not alone.
xoxo
Tausha
First of all, don't let anyone tell you whether it's right or wrong to end or even consider ending breastfeeding for ANY reason. It's completely up to you. I'm personally considering bottle feeding from the very beginning simply because I know how potentially difficult it might be. You definitely won't be getting any judgmental comments from me on the subject if you decide to stop. In fact, I'm impressed with anyone who decides to breastfeed longer than one day.
DeleteSecond, PLEASE do a post about baby blues, whether it's mild or full-blown depression. Women need to hear different perspectives on it and know what they could possibly deal with/how to deal with it.
Thanks for your comment, and I hope you'll send me a link if you ever do a post about it!
Sadly this sounds like my every day, unpregnant. I can't even tell you what I was like pregnant! Lol.
ReplyDeleteGood luck though, you're bound to have better days and worse days but obviously you know it will all be worth it in the end. You sound like you have a superstar hubby so that must be a massive help.
I'm normally a pretty emotional person when I'm not pregnant, too. That's why it was so surprising that it went away for four months, and all of a sudden came back and I forgot how to deal with my emotions! And yes, my husband is a total superstar.
DeleteIm 25 weeks along, and my worst meltdown was a couple of weeks ago. My other 2 kids had been crying...my oldest had a tantrum that was lasting hours. My husband came home from work to a mess, me crying along with the kids.
ReplyDeleteI rarely cry..Ive become "hard" since having to live through a 9 month deployment and having our first baby without him there.
This too shall pass...money is just money and what matters is your hubby and that baby
I had a meltdown of epic proportions about a month before I had Libby. It was just after a baby shower and I was overwhelmed with all of the baby clothing that needed to be washed and out away, which sounds so silly. I literallysat on the nursery floor and cried for the better part of an hour on the phone with the hubs. I think we all just deal with the crazy hormones and survive it! If you're prone to being really emotional, I would make sure you get Conrad to keep an eye on you AFTER you give birth for post-partum depression. It's really common, but is often ignored because women think something is wrong with them for having it. Also, the 3rd day after giving birth is when I hit a hormonal wall and cried for like 4 days straight it seemed. That's really common too!
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