Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Phrases pregnant women hate


"You look like you're about to pop!"
I had one person tell me this, and I was 20 weeks along. Granted, he was 21 and had probably never been around a pregnant woman, so he totally couldn't have guessed how far along I was. Mostly it was just funny. I actually like when people acknowledge I'm growing, but I might be weird.

"You look so much bigger/smaller than ___ weeks!" 
I'm never offended when people tell me I look smaller, but some people are. I'm honestly not even offended when people tell me I'm carrying large. A woman at church asked me "Are you sure you're not having twins?" and it didn't even phase me. It's probably all the hormones. They're like sedatives or something. I'm comfortable with my size, but it certainly wouldn't feel good to have someone say outright "You're gaining a lot of weight," or suggesting that you're underweight and therefore malnourishing your baby. Gee, thanks.


"Should you be eating that?"
This one gets my goat, along with any other comments about my behavior that would suggest I'm using bad judgement. Yes, I'm drinking soda. With caffeine in it. Yes, I eat red meat several times a week. Yes, I even ate sushi - real sushi, not the cooked excuse for sushi - when I was first pregnant because it was the only thing I kept down.

"You look tired/uncomfortable."
Well, you look like a fat person with too-skinny legs. Oh wait, that's also me. Just don't comment on a pregnant woman's appearance. Her ego is fragile.

When people ask the gender but then still call the baby an "it" rather than a he or she.
Why would you ask if it's a girl or boy if you aren't going to refer to it by it's gender-specific pronoun?

When people ask awkward questions like "Are you excited?" or "Is the dad excited?" 
Of course I'm excited. And why would the dad be extra-excited? Because it's a boy? Here's how to respond. Make the asker feel as awkward as these stupid questions. Say "Oh, not really. We were trying not to get pregnant but it happened anyway." Or "There's no father. I got pregnant in a one-night-stand." They'll never ask you a stupid question again. Mission accomplished.

"Can I touch your belly?" Or worse, touching without asking.
Only a few people have touched my belly, and they all asked first. It doesn't really bother me. I understand that they just want to "give their good energy" to the baby or feel him move. If I'm feeling like I don't want to be touched, I'll simply say, "Oh, he's asleep right now, but if he wakes up and starts moving, I'll tell you so you can feel!" No one ever pushes too hard. I think most people understand boundaries. It's usually older women who touch without asking.

When people ask what names we're thinking of, I tell them, and they proceed to call the baby by one of those names - or worse, a nickname. 
It's not his name now. It might be his name when he gets here. Please don't lock me into a certain name when I may want to reserve the right to change it. This one, weirdly, is probably the most irritating one to me. I've simply just started lying and telling people who ask that we don't have any names in mind yet. We do.

And other questions asking about what I plan to do, like "Are you going to breastfeed?" "Are you going to get an epidural?" etc. They make me feel like no matter how I answer, I'm about to be judged. What I find most irritating are the questions I have to answer a thousand times, like "How are you feeling?" "When are you due?" "Boy or girl?" "Do you have any names picked out?" I just get tired of saying the same rehearsed answer over and over again.

What's the most obnoxious thing anyone has said to you while you were pregnant? This could get fun.

10 comments:

  1. Congratulations on the pregnancy; I hope it all goes well and baby arrives happily and healthily.

    Two things that annoyed me when I was pregnant, with my first, my aunt advised me to have an epidural or I'd be on the ceiling from pain. Yeah, didn't ask for your medical advice thanks. And with my second, all the mums at school kept touching my stomach without asking. So annoying.

    I also had someone ask me, a month after my oldest was born and I was out without him, what had happened to my baby. Duh, he was born!

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    1. Oh, that is so funny. Why would someone ask what happened to your baby? Obviously he made his way out, but even if something HAD "happened," who would be so insensitive as to ask? People just don't think.

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  2. Right now I feel like none of these would offend me, but I'm sure they will once I am actually pregnant ha. The "Should you be eating that?" is definitely the most annoying!

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    1. Most of them aren't offensive to me either, just annoying. The unwanted advice/judgments are the worst.

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  3. My mom always says not to tell anyone what names you have chosen because before the baby is born they feel like they have the right to judge your choice and say things like I hate that name. After the baby is born, most people won't say anything negative about their name (to your face anyways...) I always try to withhold judgement anyways when people tell me their baby name ideas but I'm sure there are a lot of people who aren't like that!

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    1. My mom always said that too!!! My extended family is pretty judgmental and have even told family members to their face that they hate the name that they pick out for their unborn child. Those comments fully cemented the deal for me that I'm not telling people ahead of time.

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  4. I had a student last year ask me if my baby could see her during the day... this same student also told me that my kid was going to be born a genius because she was learning 5th grade lessons before she was even born. Kids say the funniest things to pregnant people!

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  5. "You've got the pregnancy waddle... Oh, it'll be any day now!"

    Yeah. Any day now. Thanks lady. What if it's NOT any day now? What if I have to keep waddling like this for another WEEK (yes, I know I am waddling, and that's because I'm very uncomfortable, thanks for pointing out the obvious...)??? And what if it IS any day now? I'll be in LABOR. YIKES! Yeah. Thanks lady. I'm trying not to think too much about this impending birth that is the scariest, most painful, most exciting, gross, beautiful thing I'll ever do. I'm going to waddle away now.

    What I actually said - "Yep." *tired smile*

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  6. Hah! The most common question I got asked was 'Have you had any weird cravings?'. I didn't really have an interesting answer to that question because the truth of the matter was that I DIDN'T have any cravings. I got so bored of people asking that I just came up with the strangest combination of foods just to throw them: fish finger sandwiches with peanut butter and jam.

    Maria xx
    www.cheekypinktulip.blogspot.com

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  7. Love this post! Every single one of these is so true!!
    I run an in-home daycare and am often out and about with all three kids I keep. My daughter is two and then I have two babies (one is 16 months, one is 10 months but they easily pass for twins) and I am 8 months pregnant. I often get looks from people! One woman even came up to me at the park and said, "Honey, how do you manage all these kids? You are going to have your hands full once that baby gets here! You must have been crazy to get pregnant again!" After I managed to close my jaw, I politely responded with "I am superwoman. And I plan on have about four more!" Both of those are very untrue statements but it certainly made her turn and run!
    :) visiting from Casey Wiegand!

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