Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Do you ever stop loving someone?

I typically think Valentine's is ridiculous. Men are made to feel guilty if they don't buy their ladies something on what should be just another day. Many of us aren't even Catholic, and don't actually celebrate the true Saint's day. But in honor of celebrating love, I thought I'd discuss its nature.

This question popped into my mind a while ago. I was in the car alone, and I thought about it the whole way home. What I decided was no, you don't.

Not really. Even if you start loving someone else. Even if that person hurt you. Even if a lot of time has passed. You don't stop loving.

Think about an old boyfriend or girlfriend, maybe one you had in high school. Someone you loved. My guess is, you still have a spot in your heart for them, even if things ended horribly. How about a family member who wronged you? You still have that little grain of love for them.

My theory:
Once you have felt even the smallest amount of love for someone, that love can never truly be extinguished, whether romantic, familial, etc.

This is not to say that you will always want to be with or near this person. You may not ever trust them. Things may be very awkward, or you may start fighting the second you're in the same room.

I think our hearts do everything they can to remind us of the happy memories and good qualities in people, which is why you see so many off-again-on-again relationships. People want to forgive, and hope that there is change. They never truly stop loving, even after decades.

We love people for how they help us, change us, and love us. Even if we aren't compatible or similar in any way.

While in the car, I thought back to an old boyfriend in high school. The break up was particularly difficult. I chose to end it. Nobody was unfaithful, but I knew in my heart that we wouldn't be happy if we stayed together. The problem was, I loved him. I totally hurt him, and we never really spoke after high school. I look back so fondly of our relationship. He was exactly who I needed. I have such love in my heart for him, even after seven years, and after I'm married to someone else.

Love is not purely "current love." For Valentine's day tomorrow, I hope we can think of people we have love for, other than just our SO's.

Celebrate and express your love tomorrow! Happy Valentine's Day! What do you think? Do you ever truly stop loving?


  1. i completely agree. i don't think love is something you stop doing. once it's felt, it's felt. i think it has levels of intensity, but it never goes away completely.

  2. I definitely agree with that! I still have a soft spot for my former significant others. I certainly don't love them in the same way and I think the love is more platonic and reminicent than anything else, but I definitely still love them.

    I really like this post! Is it okay if I link to it tomorrow in my V-Day post?

  3. Beautifully written. :) Once you give a piece of your heart away, no matter how small, it is impossible to get it back. Well said. Hope you and your man had a loving and lovely Valentines Day.
    PS: You looked stunning in your wedding gown.



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